


12 Days of Christmas

by lotsofquestionslimitedanswers



Series: Christmas In The Bunker [2]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Castiel has already been saved by Jack from the Empty, Castiel is a bit of a disaster, Christmas, Christmas Fluff, Dean is trying to be less emotionally constipated, Domestic Castiel/Dean Winchester, Established Castiel/Dean Winchester, Fluff, Happy Ending, M/M, Occasional angst, they're doing their best
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-14
Updated: 2020-12-25
Packaged: 2021-03-11 04:29:30
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 13
Words: 21,375
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28059222
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers/pseuds/lotsofquestionslimitedanswers
Summary: Castiel has never celebrated Christmas with a significant other before and he wants to make it extra special for Dean. Chaos ensues.Excerpt:It is December 13, 2020. It is 7:35AM and Castiel is frantically trying to put out the fire in the oven. How did things go wrong so quickly? He thought he followed the instructions. What did he do wrong?“Cas?” Dean calls, running into the kitchen. “What happened?”“I was trying to make a pie.” Castiel replies. “It…it did not go as planned.”(This is mostly about Castiel and Dean, but Jack, Eileen, and Sam are there too.)Updates daily
Relationships: Castiel/Dean Winchester
Series: Christmas In The Bunker [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2055384
Comments: 26
Kudos: 38





	1. The First Day of Christmas: Pie

**The First Day of Christmas: Pie**

_Castiel_

It is December 13, 2020. It is 3:23AM. Dean is asleep, so Castiel slips out of Dean’s room. Normally, he would stay in bed until Dean woke up, but tonight, something is bothering him. It is nearly Christmas and Castiel does not feel prepared. What should he do for Dean for Christmas? In movies, significant others typically do special things for each other around the holidays. Castiel would like to do something special for Dean. Unfortunately, he is unsure _what_ exactly he should do.

Castiel sits in the library, trying to figure out what to do for Dean. He uses Google on his phone to find suggestions. He searches for hours until it hits him. There is a song called the “12 Days of Christmas.” He could get Dean twelve gifts for the twelve remaining days before Christmas. The problem with that is that Castiel doubts that Dean would appreciate a partridge in a pear-tree. What do partridges eat? How would Castiel store it before the time to give it to Dean? Of course, he could simply get Dean twelve Dean-like gifts instead of following the song-lyrics. That would be easier.

Castiel has something new to Google.

…

It is December 13, 2020. It is 7:35AM and Castiel is frantically trying to put out the fire in the oven. How did things go wrong so quickly? He thought he followed the instructions. What did he do wrong?

“Cas?” Dean calls, running into the kitchen. “What happened?”

“I was trying to make a pie.” Castiel replies. “It…it did _not_ go as planned.”

Dean grabs the fire extinguisher out of the cabinet below the sink and stands in front of Castiel. “Watch out, Cas.” Dean aims the fire extinguisher and some kind of white foam sprays out of the can.

“Sorry Dean. I did not intend for that to happen.” Castiel says.

“It’s fine, Cas. Are you hurt?” Dean asks, looking Castiel up and down.

“I am uninjured.” Castiel says.

“Why were you making pie, anyway?”

“I wanted to make you something special. It is nearly Christmas.”

Dean blinks. He looks away from Castiel and then looks back at him. “Well, thank you, but please ask for help with baking in the future. I don’t want something bad to happen to you.”

Dean’s face is red. It gets like that whenever he tries to say something meaningful like this. He has been putting extra effort into saying things like this lately, so Castiel has seen Dean blush a lot in the past few days.

“I will keep that in mind.” Castiel replies.

Dean nods. “I’ll go grab some stuff so we can get this cleaned up.” He walks away.

Castiel watches Dean walk away. This is going to be harder than Castiel thought.

Dean walks back and kisses Castiel on the cheek. “Thank you—you know—for the thought.” He says quickly before turning heel and speed-walking.

Castiel watches Dean walk away and presses his hand against the spot where Dean kissed him.

Perhaps this will not be so bad.

…

It is still December 13, 2020. It is 2:34PM and Castiel has put together a different gift for Dean. This one was easier to create. He merely needed some paper and a pen. He will also need some money and a ride to the shopping mall. He decides to send Sam a text message.

CASTIEL: Sam. I need to talk to you about something important. Not an emergency, but still important.

SAM: What’s up, Cas?

CASTIEL: I need help getting presents for Dean, but I have no money. Can you help me?

SAM: Sure. : ) Do you want to go to the mall? I have to run errands anyway.

CASTIEL: Yes.

SAM: Perfect. Meet me in the garage.

CASTIEL: Thank you. Please do not tell Dean.

SAM: You got it, Cas. :)

Castiel finishes preparing the note he wrote for Dean and hides it in the drawer of the desk that Dean gave him. Castiel looks around his room. This is a nice space. There is a bookshelf where Castiel has put the few fictional texts he has for pleasure-reading. They cover half of the second shelf. The top shelf is for pictures. He has several framed of Dean, Jack, Sam, and himself. He loves that bookshelf. His bed has a dark blue bedding on it, but lately Castiel spends his nights in Dean’s room, so the bed is untouched.

Castiel sends Dean a text message, telling him he is going to do errands with Sam and then joins Sam in the garage.

…

Mid-way through the shopping, Castiel asks, “Why is shopping for gifts so exhausting?”

Sam frowns and says, “Maybe it’s because you’re taking special care to pick out the best things for Dean, so you’re a little stressed out about it?”

Castiel nods. “I think you are right.”

“I think he’s going to like your choices.” Sam tells him.

Castiel smiles. “I hope so.”

…

They return in time for dinner. Dean, Eileen, and Jack made spaghetti. Dinner is fun. They all exchange jokes and watch movies together. Tonight, was Jack’s night to pick the movies and he chose _Moana_ and _Maleficent._

Castiel enjoyed both movies, but he was anxious to give Dean his first new and improved gift.

He is still anxious now that it is 10:24PM on December 13, 2020 and Castiel sits on the edge of Dean’s bed with the gifts in his hands. One of the gifts is a pie recipe books. The other is a note for Dean listing reasons why Castiel loves Dean. Castiel wrote down fifty, but he worries it may not be extensive enough. He is waiting for Dean to return from the bathroom where he went to go brush his teeth.

Dean walks through the door and sucks in a breath when he looks at Castiel.

“These are for you.” Castiel says, holding the presents out to Dean.

“Cas, I don’t have anything for you yet and people usually wait until Christmas to give gifts.” Dean says, not taking the presents.

“You do not need to give me anything.” Castiel says. “And I will give you something on Christmas Day too, but I wanted to do what the song said.”

“What song?”

“The “12 Days of Christmas” song.”

“Oh,” Dean’s face turns red. “Um, thanks.”

“Here, start with this.” Castiel hands Dean the recipe book.

Dean opens the present and a smile spreads across his face. “Thanks Cas. We’ll have to make some of these together.”

Castiel feels warm inside. There is something particularly wonderful about giving Dean something that Dean enjoys receiving. “That will be fun.” Castiel says, handing Dean the note.

Dean reads the note. “Oh,” Dean whispers. “Shit, Cas.” He wipes his eyes.

Wait. No. Why is Dean crying?

“Did I do something wrong?” Castiel asks.

“No, it’s…it’s,” Dean sighs. “I love you too. I just wasn’t expecting this list of reasons why you love me.”

“It’s not supposed to be expected. It is a present.”

“You’re right.” Dean lets out a wet laugh. “I’ll be right back. Wait here; okay?”

“Okay,” Castiel replies.

Dean leaves the room.

Castiel stands and waits for Dean to return.

It takes a long time. Castiel internally debates whether or not he should go after Dean and decides against it. Dean will come back when he is ready. Until then, Castiel will wait.

He comes back after an hour.

“Okay, so right back was not the correct phrase. Sorry about that.” Dean says, fiddling with his phone. “All right Cas. Your turn.” Dean closes the door and gestures for Castiel to sit on the bed.

Castiel had been standing in the middle of the room, waiting for Dean.

“My turn for what?” Castiel tilts his head to the side in confusion.

Dean smiles and looks at his phone again. “I love the way you ask questions about everything. I love the way you insist that good things exist. I love the blue of your eyes which are really the eyes of your vessel Jimmy, but to me they’re your eyes, Cas. I love the way you tilt your head to the side when you’re confused about something—it’s cute. I love the way you always wear your suit and trench-coat. I love that since we’ve gotten together you like to be near me, to touch me even if it’s just a pat on the shoulder or a small squeeze of the hand. I love the way you go on walks with Jack and chat with Sammy. I love the way you tell jokes and use new phrases you’ve learned from the internet. I love the way your smile lights up a room and I love the softness that was in your eyes that first time we kissed. I love you. You are kind and brave and you always try to help. That’s all you ever seem to do is try to find ways to help people. I love that about you. You always try to make things better even if it seems impossible. I love the way you shine even in the grimmest moments.”

Castiel is touched and shocked by Dean’s words. He is unsure what to say. “Thank you, Dean. I…I do not know what to say.”

Dean kisses Castiel on the forehead. “You don’t have to say anything, Cas. You’ve tried making me feel special all day. I wanted to make you feel special too.” Dean says.

“You…you did.” Castiel says. No one has said anything like that to Castiel before. He cannot help but stare at Dean. He just wants to take in this beautiful, remarkable man before him.

Dean smiles at Castiel. There’s something soft in his expression and he walks over to Castiel, gently taking his face in his hands. “Do you remember how when we first met, you told me that good things do happen?”

Castiel can only nod as he stares into those beautiful green eyes.

“ _You_ happened, Castiel. You entering my life is probably the best thing that has ever happened to me.” Dean says in a quiet voice. “When all seems lost and there’s nothing but despair, you can find joy. That is why I love you. You don’t follow rules. You look for a better way. You take care of the people you love. You even watch over me.” Dean smiles.

Castiel remembers offering to watch over Dean while he sleeps.

“I didn’t like it at first. It was new. Strange. Against my rules. But you’ve helped me learn to appreciate it. I don’t say it enough, but I love you and I appreciate you. I don’t want to live my life without you and I’m so glad that I don’t.” Dean says.

“I am here to stay, Dean.” Castiel promises.

Dean kisses Castiel. Castiel kisses him back.

“I would,” Castiel says. “kiss you for all of eternity…if I could.”

Dean chuckles. “Let’s get started.”


	2. The Second Day of Christmas: Socks and a Mug

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean decides to reciprocate the gift-giving.

**The Second Day of Christmas: Socks and a Mug**

**Trigger Warnings:** Strong language (blame Dean)

**Dean**

Dean waits until he’s sure that Cas and Jack are on their morning walk. Then he marches to Sam’s room and knocks on the door. Sam opens the door. His hair is wild, and Dean makes a mental note to tease his brother about it later.

“What time is it?” Sam yawns.

“Did Cas talk to you about his Christmas thing?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, we went to get presents yesterday. I was sworn to secrecy though, so I probably shouldn’t have mentioned that. He’s really excited, Dean. He wants to do something nice for you.”

“I could tell. I just want to…to,” Dean sighs, “Reciprocate; you know?”

Sam nods. “Yeah,”

“So, will you help me?”

“He wants to give you a gift a day—like that “12 Days of Christmas” song.”

Dean blinks. “Oh. I thought so. Shit. I need to find more stuff for Cas. I already had one thing planned, but I need to find more things.”

“What were you going to get him?”

Dean can’t meet Sam’s eyes. “A kitten. I already have one picked out and reserved at a shelter. I was going to surprise Cas on Christmas Eve.”

“He’s going to love that.”

Dean can’t help but smile as he imagines the look on Cas’s face when he’s presented with the kitten.

“Aren’t you allergic though?”

Dean shrugs. “I can take allergy meds. I already spent time around the little critter and my allergies weren’t bad, so it’ll be okay.”

“You really love Cas; don’t you?”

Dean’s face heats up. “Yeah,”

Sam hugs Dean. “That’s sweet.”

Dean hugs Sam back and says, “Shut up, Sammy.”

Sam laughs and releases Dean.

“Guess I have some shopping to do.” Dean says.

“Ooh, shopping. I like shopping.” Jack says.

Dean jumps. “Where did you come from?” Dean turns around to face Jack.

“Outside. We just got back. Castiel is in the kitchen.” Jack replies.

“Do you want to come with me? We’ll sneak out without telling Cas? It’s a secret though.”

“Secret shopping sounds exciting.” Jack grins.

…

Dean takes Jack to the mall. Dean decides they should start with breakfast, so he buys a coffee and blueberry muffin for himself at Starbucks. Dean buys Jack some sort of strawberry Frappucino thing and a chocolate muffin. He wants to spend time being kind to Jack. It’ll never make up for the shit Dean has put Jack through, but he wants to try.

Jack tries the coffee as they start to leave and says, “Oh wow, Dean! We should go back and get you one too. This is so good!”

Dean isn’t even sure why the thought of holding a pink drink makes him want to cringe. It’s probably all that bullshit his dad fed him his whole life about the proper way to be a man. Dean knows it’s stupid, but it’s hard to push past the way he was raised.

He looks at Jack. He’s just staring at him with wide eyes and a wide smile. Is _this_ what he wants to teach Jack?

Fuck that.

“You’re right. I _should_ try one of those.” Dean says, dropping his plain coffee in the nearest trashcan. Dean marches to the Starbucks and orders a strawberry Frappucino too. He tries it and it is fucking delicious.

“What do you think?” Jack asks.

“You were right.” Dean replies.

“You’ll have to try chocolate next time.” Jack says.

“I _will_ have to try chocolate next time.” Dean smiles. “Now, let’s start shopping.”

Dean thinks Jack has fun. At least he _hopes_ Jack has fun. Jack gives Dean input on Dean’s present ideas for Cas and Jack picks out Christmas presents for Cas, Eileen, and Sam too. Dean also picks up presents for Sam and Eileen.

…

When Dean and Jack get back to the bunker, they’re greeted by Eileen who’s also walking into the bunker.

 _“Hey guys,”_ Eileen signs.

Jack smiles and waves at Eileen who smiles and waves back.

 _“Hey Eileen. How are you?”_ Dean signs.

 _“Good. You?”_ Eileen signs.

 _“Good.”_ Dean signs.

 _“Were you two out Christmas shopping?”_ Eileen signs.

 _“Yeah, we were buying presents for everyone, so no peeking.”_ Dean signs and grins at Eileen.

Eileen laughs.

They walk into the bunker and Dean hides the presents for Cas in Sam’s room. He carries everything else into his room. He and Cas are going to need to go present-shopping for Jack sometime soon. Dean saw Jack eyeing a lot of things in the stores, so Dean has some ideas about presents for Jack.

There’s a knock on Dean’s door. Dean shoves the presents for Sam and Eileen into the closet. “Come in,” Dean calls as he closes the closet door.

Cas walks into the room. “Hello Dean,” Cas smiles. He’s holding something behind his back. “I have a gift for you.”

Shit. Dean should’ve been prepared. He should’ve brought his gift to Cas for today into his room. He left it in Sam’s room like a complete amateur. To be fair, he _is_ an amateur when it comes to this, but still. He should’ve planned better.

“Can you wait just one minute? I’ll be right back. Okay?” Dean says.

Cas looks disappointed, but nods and says, “Yes.”

Dean grins and kisses Cas on the cheek. Then he runs out the door and goes straight for Sam’s room. He grabs today’s present and nearly runs into Sam on the way back to Cas.

“What are _you_ up to?” Sam smirks.

Dean flips him off and runs to Cas. He can hear Sam laughing at him.

He crashes into the door and holds the gift for Cas behind his back.

Cas squints and tilts his head to the side. “What are you up to?” Cas asks.

Dean smiles. “I have something for you too.”

Cas blinks. “But…you did not need to get me anything.”

“I know. You didn’t have to get me anything either,” Dean shrugs. “But here we are.”

Cas smiles at Dean. It’s a soft smile that makes Dean’s heart almost stop because it’s too soft. Dean doesn’t deserve to have someone give him such a tender smile. But here Cas is, doing it anyway.

“Should we put the gifts on the bed and then swap that way? So, no one drops anything?” Cas asks.

“Three, two, one.” Dean puts his gift for Cas on the bed.

“Oh, Dean.” Cas gingerly picks up the bumble bee mug with both hands. “It’s perfect. Thank you.”

“I realized today that we didn’t have any mugs here that were specifically for you. I figured it was time to change that because this is your home too.”

Cas puts the mug down and hugs Dean. Tightly.

Dean hugs Cas back.

“Thank you.” Cas sniffles.

Dean’s surprised to hear Cas sniffle, but then he thinks of all the times Cas has had to leave and hugs Cas tighter. “This is your home if you want it.”

“I want it.”

Dean’s eyes fill with tears. “Good. I want you to stay too.” He admits.

Dean can feel wetness on his shoulder where Cas has pressed his face.

“I’m sorry for all the times I’ve made you feel like it’s not.” Dean whispers, fighting off a lump in his throat.

Cas lets out a small sob. “It’s okay now. Thank you for wanting me here.”

“Thank you for wanting to stay.” Dean closes his eyes to try to stop tears from forming.

“Of course. There’s nowhere else I’d rather be than here with you.”

Dean hugs Cas just a little tighter after that.

They don’t move for a while. Eventually Cas calms down and rests his forehead on Dean’s shoulder.

Cas lets go and swipes at his eyes. “Alright. Um, would you like to open your present?” Cas smiles at Dean.

Dean smiles back and opens up the gift. It’s a pack of colorful fuzzy socks. Dean grins. “Thanks, Cas. These are awesome.”

“You always seem to like soft things.”

Something about hearing the word soft makes Dean think about Cas’s smile, his lips, his eyes, his chuckle when Dean makes stupid jokes at ass-o’clock in the morning when they’re both tired and the bunker is quiet, and it feels like the whole world is asleep except the two of them.

“Yeah,” Dean says. “I do.”


	3. The Third Day of Christmas: Baking and Blankets

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Fluff, snuggles, and baking cookies

**The Third Day of Christmas: Baking and Blankets**

_Castiel_

It is 3:19AM on December 15, 2020. Castiel lies in bed with Dean. Castiel is warm under the covers and Dean has his face buried in Castiel’s chest. Castiel is content. No. Castiel is _happy_. He is happy to lie here for hours with his favorite person. He is happy to know that Dean loves him too. He is happy to see Dean spend the last few days smiling. He really _does_ seem freer. He hasn’t even mentioned hunting since Jack rescued Castiel from The Empty. Castiel is not sure what that means, but he is glad that Dean is at least taking a vacation. Dean deserves to rest.

Dean turns over in his sleep. Dean does this a lot. He moves in his sleep nearly every hour. Castiel wonders if all humans do this or if it is only Dean. Castiel does not really care to find out. He only wants to spend these precious moments with Dean. His precious Dean who still has one hand gripped onto Castiel’s shirt as if he is afraid that Castiel might disappear again. Oh Dean.

Castiel can see Dean’s face now and he watches the man he loves sleep. He is not sure if Dean still believes this is a strange thing to do, but Castiel allows himself this selfish action of gazing at the face of his beloved. Despite the hold Dean has on Castiel’s shirt, Dean looks peaceful. It is a nice change from the way he looks during the day as he flips between restlessness and anxiety and joy and despondency and exhaustion. Yet throughout all that, he is still beautiful, still Dean Winchester.

It is still wonderful to get to see Dean at peace even for just a few hours.

Despite the moving, Dean is a relatively light sleeper, so Castiel does not dare move or touch Dean even though he would like to. He would like to run a hand through Dean’s hair or hold the hand that clutches at his shirt. He would like to move in general because his legs are cramping, but he does not mind remaining still. He enjoys these moments in the early morning.

Peace washes over him and Castiel spends the next few hours resting his eyes. He wakes up to a gentle touch from his forehead to his cheek. He opens his eyes to see Dean smiling at him.

“Mornin’ Cas. Wanna make some Christmas cookies before everyone wakes up?” Dean asks.

Castiel smiles and leans over to kiss Dean.

Dean kisses Castiel back.

Castiel pulls away and says, “Time for cookies.”

Dean grins and starts to get out of bed, but then he turns around, takes Castiel’s hand, and gives it a little squeeze. “I’m going to start getting stuff out.” Dean says.

Dean’s eyes are shining and he’s smiling brightly at Castiel. He’s so beautiful.

Dean starts to walk away, but Castiel grabs Dean’s arm and pulls him back onto the bed. Dean lands on Castiel with his head on his chest. Castiel hugs Dean. “You are adorable. I love you.” Castiel says.

“Cas,” Dean laughs. He hugs Castiel back and says, “I love you too.”

Dean stays there for a few moments. Then he gets out of bed and offers Castiel his hand. Castiel takes Dean’s hand and Dean pulls him to his feet. Dean does not let go of Castiel’s hand after Castiel is on his feet. Castiel does not let go of Dean’s hand either. Castiel could get used to this. Then Castiel remembers.

“Oh, I need to bring my mug.” He says, grabbing the mug off Dean’s desk. “I cannot wait to use it.”

Dean smiles at Castiel and kisses the hand he’s holding.

Castiel feels a chill run up his spine. It’s a good feeling.

Dean winks and leads the way to the kitchen.

On the way, Castiel remembers a gift for today. “I will be right back. Okay?” Castiel says.

“Okay. Do you want me to bring your mug to the kitchen?” Dean asks.

“Yes. Thank you.” Castiel passes the mug to Dean.

Dean takes the mug in both hands and walks away.

Castiel hurries to his room and grabs a present out of the closet. It’s technically the one Castiel planned to give Dean two days from now, but it seems more relevant for right now. The wrapping paper is a candy-cane print with a big green bow. Castiel is quite proud of how good the bow turned out.

Castiel brings the gift to the kitchen and tells Dean, “This is for you.” Castiel hands the gift box to Dean.

Dean opens the box slowly. “Oh, wow. Thanks Cas.” Dean says as he pulls out new green oven mitts, a new set of measuring cups and spoon, and a cooking apron.

“I know how much you like to cook, so I thought you might want new supplies of your own.” Castiel explains.

Dean hugs Castiel. “Thank you. This was…this was really nice.”

“You’re welcome.” Castiel hugs Dean back.

Dean lets go and says, “I have something for you too.” Dean walks into the living room and comes back carrying a large blanket with cartoon cats on it. He hands it to Castiel.

This is by far the most wonderous blanket Castiel has ever seen. It is incredibly soft as well. Castiel wraps himself in the blanket.

“This is the best blanket I have ever seen.” Castiel says.

Dean grins. “Yeah?”

“Yeah,”

Dean walks out of the room and returns with _three more_ cat blankets. One has a pattern of a cat riding a pizza with a galaxy print background, one is of a big tabby cat, and one is of a cartoon pattern of different kinds of cats that all say things like “Meow” and “purr” which is strange because cats do not actually _say_ “purr,” but they do make the sound.

Castiel hugs Dean. “Thank you. These are amazing.”

Dean hugs Castiel with one arm, holding the blankets with the other.

They pull away and then they set to work. They put the blankets in the living room, wash the new measuring dishes and Castiel’s new mug, and Dean puts on his apron.

“I didn’t see what it says before.” Dean chuckles.

It says, “kiss the cook” and has a cartoon dog wearing a chef’s hat holding a spatula in its mouth. The dog stands beside a grill.

Castiel kisses Dean.

Dean smiles. “What was that for?”

“I was just following the directions.” Castiel smirks.

Dean looks down at the apron again and says, “I’m gonna like this.” He winks at Castiel.

Castiel laughs.

…

An hour later, Castiel finds himself lying on the floor of a kitchen covered in cookie ingredients. It’s his fault really. He turned on the mixer without securing some part of it. He does not entirely understand what he was supposed to do with the mixer. Anyway, Castiel starts the mixer and batter flies through the air.

Dean turns the mixer off and asks if Castiel is okay.

“I’m fine. I do not understand what happened here.” Castiel replies.

Instead of explaining what went wrong with the mixer, Dean laughs.

Castiel feels something flutter in his chest and he smiles at Dean. He is not entirely sure what is so funny, but Dean is doing that laugh that he does with his whole body and it is Castiel’s favorite thing to see, so Castiel smiles.

“I’m sorry. It’s just. Your face, Cas.” Dean laughs.

“Oh? Would you like to join me?” Castiel opens his arms and takes a step towards Dean.

Dean walks away. “Get away from me.”

Castiel chases Dean around the kitchen until he catches him and hugs him, getting batter all over the Dean.

Dean breaks away from the hug and points at Castiel, “Oh, it’s on now.”

Then Dean grabs the cup of flour and flings its contents at Castiel. Castiel tries to duck, but he gets covered in flour anyway. Dean laughs at Castiel so Castiel grabs the cup of milk and tosses the contents at Dean. Things continue to escalate from there until Castiel slips and lands on his back on the floor, which is covered in frosting, milk, flour, sugar, salt, baking soda, and eggs. So many eggs.

“Cas!” Dean drops to his knees beside him. “You okay?”

Castiel looks at Dean, feels around for some egg on the ground, grabs a handful, and smushes some of it into Dean’s hair.

Dean laughs. “Cas, you little shit!”

Dean wipes his hair off and rubs his hand on Castiel’s face. Castiel rolls and knocks Dean to the ground. Dean laughs and rolls so he’s on top of Castiel. They roll around on the floor until they’re both laughing so hard that they have to stop. They end up lying shoulder-to-shoulder on the ground.

“So much for baking cookies.” Castiel says.

Dean laughs and leans his face against Castiel’s shoulder.


	4. The Fourth Day of Christmas: Movie Night

**The Fourth Day of Christmas: Movie Night**

**Dean**

Castiel has a lot of skills. Tons really. He’s funny. He’s a fierce warrior. He’s kind. He has an extensive knowledge of bees. Half the time, he sends texts that are mostly emojis and somehow his texts still make sense. He’s amazing. That being said, he is not skilled in the kitchen. He tries his best, but usually the result of his efforts is a huge mess instead of food. With one exception. Cas makes a mean quesadilla. It’s always hot and the cheese is melty and when the pieces get pulled apart the cheese stretches out between the two pieces and there aren’t any super hard pieces. It’s all just soft and delicious and cheesy.

“This is for you.” Castiel says. He hands Dean a plate with a quesadilla on it.

“Oh wow.” Dean accepts the plate. “Thanks, Cas.”

It’s December 16, 2020 and Dean really is living the life right now. He spent the whole day at the bunker (at home) with Cas, Sam, Eileen, and Jack. This morning Cas gave him a pair of slippers to lounge around the bunker in. They’re really comfy with soft padding on the inside, a red and black flannel print on the outside, and a good rubber sole that has grip so Dean doesn’t slide around on the hardwood and tile floors. Dean hasn’t taken them off all day. Today was a movie day and right now Jack, Sam, and Eileen are watching Marvel movies in the living room.

Not Dean and Cas. They ducked out early because Cas mentioned being in the mood for a drama or a rom-com. So, now Dean and Cas are in Dean’s room on Dean’s bed, sharing popcorn, Cas’s quesadillas, and brownies that Dean made for everyone but snagged when they left. (There are still plenty of other treats for the rest of the family in the living room.)

Dean’s excited. He knows exactly which present to give Cas and he cannot wait to see Cas’s face. He will either love it or hate it.

Dean’s phone buzzes. He looks to see a text from Sam.

SAMMY: Enjoy your chick-flicks.

Dean does not deign that with a reply. Sometimes a guy is in the mood for some rom-coms. Jody was right. Dean really does like rom-coms. And even if he didn’t, he would watch some rom-coms with Cas if that’s what Cas wanted to watch.

The movies Cas chooses are _Always Be My Maybe_ and _Under The Tuscan Sun_. Dean saw _Under The_ _Tuscan Sun_ a few years ago and enjoyed it, so he thinks Cas will too. He’s excited to see _Always Be My_ _Maybe_ because the preview looked really funny.

They’ve started _Always Be My Maybe_ and Dean looks over at Cas as he watches the movie. He’s staring intensely at the tv. He watches every movie this way: like it is the most important thing in the world at the moment. Every story seems to matter to Cas. It’s one of the things Dean loves about him. One of many really. He loves the way he smiles slowly and the skin around his eyes crinkles. He loves the way he holds objects important to him with care. He loves the way he wakes up to see Cas staring at him with softness in his eyes. He loves the way Cas holds him in his arms like he is something to be cared for, treasured, loved.

“Hey Cas?” Dean asks.

“Yeah, Dean?” Cas asks, turning to look at Dean.

“Wanna know what will make this even better?” Dean asks.

“What?”

Dean goes into his closet and produces the cat onesy pajamas that he washed in secret today. The pj’s have a hood with cat ears and tail. He can’t tell if Cas will love it or hate it. The pj’s are important because they look sort of like the kitten he’s got on hold for Cas and he’s thinking Cas will appreciate taking pictures with the kitten while he’s in the cat pj’s.

“I honestly don’t know if you’re going to like this present or not, but I know you like cats and thought you might like them.” Dean says.

Cas takes the pj’s in his hands and smiles from ear to ear. “Thank you.” Cas hugs Dean.

Dean hugs Cas back and rests his face on his shoulder.

_Castiel_

Dean Winchester is quite possibly the most ridiculous human Castiel has ever met. He is also surprisingly sweet. These cat pajamas are the most wonderful pajamas Castiel has ever seen in his long, long life.

Castiel hugs Dean. Dean hugs Castiel back. They have been hugging more and more lately. Castiel loves it. He loves holding Dean in his arms. He loves listening to him breathe. He loves feeling Dean’s heartbeat as they’re pressed together. He loves how tightly Dean hugs him…like he doesn’t want to let him go. Like he loves him deeply. Like he would stay there forever if given the option. Maybe Dean doesn’t think any of those things. Maybe Castiel is reading into the hugs too much. Maybe Castiel is merely projecting those feelings onto Dean. But Castiel will take what he can get.

Castiel lets go of Dean and kisses him on the cheek. “These are amazing. I’m going to put them on right now. Then we can snuggle for the movies.”

Dean’s face turns red and he smiles. He reaches out and grabs Castiel’s hand, giving it a gentle squeeze. Dean has started to do that quite a bit lately…give Castiel’s hand a squeeze. Castiel isn’t quite sure what it means. Perhaps his words have failed him, and he is trying to convey meaning through touch. Perhaps he is simply excited and wants to convey that through touch. Castiel is not sure, but Castiel would like to find out.


	5. The Fifth Day of Christmas: Stargazing

**The Fifth Day of Christmas: Stargazing**

_Castiel_

It is December 17, 2020. It is 9pm and Castiel can feel a slight chill in the air. Everyone is on the roof with the purpose of stargazing. Castiel sits beside Dean. Everyone is huddling under Castiel’s new cat blankets. Sam and Eileen share a blanket. Jack huddles under a blanket by himself. Castiel and Dean share a blanket. They’re also sharing a thermos of hot chocolate. Castiel doesn’t dare bring his new bumblebee mug on the roof for fear of dropping it.

They have been sitting on the roof for quite some time before Jack sends a text to the group of what Castiel thinks they’ve all been thinking.

JACK: Where are all the stars?

Dean chuckles beside Castiel and types a reply.

DEAN: Sorry, Jack. I thought they’d be out tonight.

EILEEN: Did you check the weather?

DEAN: Maybe

SAM: Dean? Really?

DEAN: Fine. No. But it was clear earlier.

Everyone laughs.

Castiel kisses Dean on the cheek and whispers, “It was a nice thought.”

“Thanks,” Dean mumbles, but Castiel can just barely make out Dean’s smile in the dark.

Castiel thinks it may snow. Castiel _hopes_ it snows. He loves the snow. He remembers when he used to help create snowflakes in Heaven. Every snowflake is different. And in that way, every snowflake is similar _because_ none of them are the same. Castiel always appreciated that about snowflakes and it wasn’t until he rebelled from Heaven and gave everything up for the Winchesters that he realized that it is probably because he always felt a little different. Even when he was following orders and doing his duty, he still never quite _fit_. For some reason, Castiel fits here with Dean and Jack and Sam and Eileen. With members of his chosen family. In his favorite place.

Then, as if by magic, the first snowflake falls. Then another. And then another. Castiel hears Jack laugh in delight. Castiel holds his hand out and catches a snowflake. He cannot see it very well and it melts almost as soon as it touches his hand, but it is beautiful.

Castiel looks around at his family. Sam and Eileen are kissing. Jack is holding his hands out to catch snowflakes. Dean is staring up at the sky with a smile on his face.

“This is so beautiful.” Castiel comments.

“Yeah,” Dean agrees.

There is a new text.

SAM: We should probably head inside so we don’t get sick.

JACK: Boring. But okay.

Castiel smiles when he reads Jack’s message. Good boy.

Everyone goes back inside. They’re all lightly coated in snow.

“I think everyone’s planning on watching Elf or something.” Dean says.

Castiel cannot help but stare at Dean for a second. Dean is smiling at Castiel. His face is flushed from the cold and there’s snow in his hair. Castiel feels as though his breath is taken away. Dean Winchester is always _so beautiful_.

Castiel nods. “Can I take you to my room first?”

“Okay,”

Castiel is relieved that Dean agrees to go with him. He has been trying to figure out a good time to give Dean today’s gift. Sam and Eileen woke up uncharacteristically early this morning, so Castiel did not get his morning time alone with Dean.

They walk to Castiel’s room. Dean stops by his own room on the way. It warms Castiel’s heart that Dean decided to give Castiel gifts too. Castiel did not expect this; he just wanted to do something nice for Dean. It’s sweet that Dean decided to do something nice for him in return.

When they get to Castiel’s room, Castiel says, “I would like to give you your gift first today.”

“Okay, close your eyes real fast so I can hide this under your bed?”

Castiel closes his eyes and says, “Well, now I know you didn’t get me a pony.”

Dean chuckles. Then he says, “Okay. Ready.”

Castiel opens his eyes and says, “Your turn to close your eyes.”

Dean closes his eyes and Castiel walks into the closet to find today’s gift. He finds it and puts the gift on the bed. “Okay. You can open your eyes now.” Castiel tells Dean.

Dean opens his eyes.

“Go ahead, open it.” Castiel says.

Dean unwraps the gift and sees that it is a boxset of N. K. Jemisin’s _Broken Earth_ trilogy.

“I know that you like fantasy stories and this has good reviews.” Castiel says.

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean smiles. He looks at the box and seems to be reading the summary. “This looks really cool. Don’t tell Sammy, but I’m actually pretty excited to read this.”

Castiel smiles. “Your secret love for literature is safe with me.”

Dean hugs Castiel. Castiel hugs Dean back.

“This is awesome, Cas.” Dean whispers. “Thank you so much.”

“You are welcome, Dean.” Castiel replies.

Dean lets go of Castiel and says, “Okay, your turn. Close your eyes.”

Castiel closes his eyes and waits until Dean says it’s safe to open them

“Okay. You can open them.”

Castiel opens his eyes to see a new trench-coat and a tie with cartoon bees on it. Castiel picks up the tie to examine it. “Thank you, Dean. This is lovely.” Castiel hugs Dean.

Dean hugs Castiel back and says, “Check out the trench-coat.”

Castiel lets go of Dean and looks at the trench-coat. It looks like the one he usually wears. It’s the same color and looks to be the same design. Castiel picks up the coat and holds it out in front of him. Now that it is no longer folded, Castiel sees that the inside lining of the trench-coat has a pattern of cartoon bees that matches the tie.

“This is perfect.” Castiel tells Dean.

Dean grins.

Castiel smiles back at Dean. They may not have gotten to see stars tonight, but Castiel has gotten to see Dean smile and as far as Castiel can tell, Dean’s smile is just as wonderous as the stars. Castiel chuckles to himself. Dean will tell him his thoughts are cheesy.

“What?” Dean asks.

“You will make fun of me for saying this, but I was just thinking about how your smile is just as wonderous as the stars.”

Dean’s face turns bright red and Dean gives Castiel a little nudge with his shoulder. “Not as…not as good as your smile though.” Dean says.

Castiel feels warm. Dean’s trying. He really is.

“See?” Dean points at Castiel. “That. The stars can’t top that. I’m surprised the power hasn’t gone out in here from all that brightness.”

Castiel cocks his head to the side. “How would that work?”

“I don’t know, Cas. I just wanted to say something cute back.” Dean laughs. “It didn’t work.”

Castiel kisses Dean. “It worked for me.” Castiel says.

Dean chuckles. “That’s all that matters then, isn’t it?”

“Yes.” Castiel replies. “It is.”


	6. The Sixth Day of Christmas: Mint and Bees

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This one is a little angsty and Dean contemplates things, but it has a happy chapter-ending.

**Dean**

Dean wakes up to an empty space beside him in bed. He turns his light on and finds a big basket on his desk. The basket is full of colorful bath bombs, soaps, lotions, a fluffy blue towel, and a sponge. There’s a note at the bottom of the basket. It’s from Cas.

_Hello Dean,_

_Jack and I are out on an errand. Please consider giving yourself some “me-time” and “treating yourself” to a warm bath with nice-smelling things. I tried to pick lots of choices for you because I was not quite sure which smells you would like the best. Do not worry about breakfast. There is a batch of pancakes in the kitchen. (I promise these will not poison you.)_

_P.S. I learned the two phrases in parentheses on the internet._

_See you soon._

_Love,_

_Castiel_

Dean smiles at the note. He really does love his dorky angel. Cas often tells Dean about the new things he learns from the internet. He remembers a few years ago when Castiel discovered cat memes. He sent one to Dean every day.

Dean rifles through the basket again. He smells everything and chooses a green bath bomb that smells like mint. He also selects a hot chocolate smelling soap. He sneaks into the bathroom, hoping Sammy doesn’t see. He can’t believe he’s doing this. He can only imagine what his dad would say if he saw him preparing to take a nice bath with good-smelling soaps. Dad would probably say something shitty and call it a joke. Like he always did with Dean.

Dean sighs. Maybe he should talk to a professional about his dad. Then maybe he’ll be able to get him out of his head.

Dean shakes his head and thinks about Castiel. Cas. Dean’s angel. Dean’s best friend. The person who wants Dean to be kinder to himself. Who wants Dean to use these soaps and relax for once.

What about Dean? What does Dean want?

Dean wants to…he wants to…he wants to _try_. He wants to be able to try new things. He has been stuck doing the same things over and over and over his whole life. Take care of Sammy. Be tough. No chick-flick moments. No softness. Only strength. Emotion is weakness. Dean can’t keep going like this. He has to try more things. He has to make a change. He _needs_ this.

Dean takes a bath. He uses the bath bomb and soaks for a while in the green suds. It smells amazing. Then he takes a shower and uses the hot chocolate soap. After the bath, Dean goes to his room and tries two lotions: one is vanilla bean which is okay. The other is chocolate mint cookie and Dean loves it. It feels very Christmasy. Is Christmasy a word? Dean doesn’t care. He puts lotion all over his arms, legs, and hands and then he chooses his outfit for today. Then he goes to the kitchen to see about the pancakes.

There are a lot of pancakes in the kitchen. Dean takes three. They are freaking amazing. They’re so much better than the pancakes that Dean makes. Half the pancakes have pieces of apples. The other half have chocolate chips. Dean is never making pancakes again. That will be the job of Cas and Jack.

After eating, Dean makes a cup of coffee and takes it to his room, plays some Christmas music, and starts reading the trilogy that Cas gave him. The first book is called _The Fifth Season_. It seems really cool so far.

There’s a knock on Dean’s door.

Dean looks up and says, “Come in,”

Cas walks in and smiles at Dean. “Hello Dean,”

“Hey Cas.” Dean says, “Do you mind if I finish this paragraph?”

“Not at all.”

Dean finishes the paragraph and marks his page with the note from Cas.

“Would this help?” Cas asks.

Dean looks up to see Cas handing him a Led Zeppelin bookmark.

“I found it while Jack and I were out and thought you might like it.” Cas explains.

Dean takes the bookmark and marks his page with it. “Thanks, Cas.”

“You’re welcome.”

“Thank you for the,” Dean trails off. How does he say this? “The smelly stuff. I…I liked it.”

“I’m glad you liked it.” Cas says.

“Can I give you your present for today?” Dean asks.

“Sure,”

“I think you’ll like this one.”

“Dean, I like everything that you give me.”

Dean’s smile falters. Cas probably didn’t like the years of heartache that Dean gave him. Years of pushing away. Years of pain and deceit.

“Dean? Are you okay?”

“Yes.”

Cas doesn’t say anything.

“Fine. I was just thinking about all the shit that I put you through.”

“I put you through quite a bit of shit too as I recall.”

“What’s your point?”

“We both messed up in the past. Moving forward, we should communicate better and try to trust each other.”

Dean nods. Cas is right. He’s right a lot.

“You’re right a lot.” Dean says.

Cas chuckles.

“All right, let’s get to that gift.” Dean gets up and goes into his closet and grabs the gift. Then he hands it to Cas and says, “Okay. I know that this is a kids’ book, but I flipped through it and I thought you might like it for the cute bee illustrations.”

Cas smiles. “ _Give Bees a Chance_ by Bethany Barton. I _have_ noticed that humans do not like to interact with bees. I’m glad someone wants to help improve the reputation of bees.” Cas gingerly puts the book down and pulls Dean into a tight hug.

Dean hugs Cas back. Tightly. “Have I told you that I love you today?”

“Not technically.”

Dean chuckles. “I love you. So much, Cas. So much.”

“I love you too, Dean. So much.”


	7. The Seventh Day of Christmas: Deck the Halls

**The Seventh Day of Christmas: Deck the Halls**

_Castiel_

They are all decorating the bunker. Eileen is here and she and Sam are untangling the lights. Their backs are turned to Jack, Castiel, and Dean who are putting up tinsel. Well, Castiel is untangling the tinsel. Dean and Jack are putting the tinsel on the tree. Dean’s letting Jack decide the placement of the tinsel; he’s passing the tinsel to Jack slowly.

“I can’t believe we didn’t do this sooner.” Dean says. He’s wearing tinsel like a scarf and he’s helping Jack put up another strand of tinsel. Is that the appropriate way to refer to tinsel? A strand? Or is it a thread? A string? Castiel does not know the answer to his questions and it’s bothering him. He will have to see what the internet recommends on the matter later.

“When should we have done this?” Jack asks.

“ _We_ sure don’t know.” Sam says. “We didn’t exactly celebrate Christmas as kids.”

No one says anything and then Dean says, “I sorta remember celebrating with Mom. Just…just little things.”

Sam turns to face Dean and so does Eileen.

 _“I remember Mom would decorate on the first day of December.”_ Dean signs. _“She would wear tinsel as a scarf while she helped me put it up. We always did that.”_

Castiel looks at Jack who looks from Dean to Castiel with wide eyes. Then Castiel looks at Dean again.

 _“We would bake a special apple pie. It always tasted better because Mom said it was special for Christmas and that it had Christmas magic in it.”_ Dean chuckles as he signs. _“She always made it fun. Even when Dad was working late. She sang all the Christmas songs. We would do sing-alongs and dance around the living room. She did it with Sam too when he came along, but he was too young to remember now. It was fun.”_

 _“That sounds fun.”_ Eileen signs. _“My family used to bake gingerbread cookies and decorate elaborate multi-story gingerbread houses. It was our big tradition.”_

 _“I do remember one Christmas when Dean stole a Christmas tree from Walmart and we decorated it with Dollar Tree candy canes. That was fun.”_ Sam signs.

 _“Later we’re going to need to go get some stuff for gingerbread houses and some candy canes.”_ Dean signs with a grin.

Everyone smiles and goes back to work.

“I love you Dean.” Jack says quietly.

Castiel looks up to see Jack hugging Dean. Dean hugs Jack back and says, “I love you too, kiddo.”

“I’m really glad you’re one of my dads.” Jack says.

“I’m glad I am too. You’re a good kid.” Dean replies. “I think we should have a talk though. Can we?”

“Sure,” Jack says.

They go off into the other room. Castiel finishes untangling the tinsel. Something about the interaction makes Castiel feel warm inside. He’s not sure why this is special. Dean is simply being Dean. Maybe it’s because Dean is being kind to Jack, Castiel’s child, and that is what makes it so special.

…

_Castiel_

It is 6pm on December 19, 2020. There is a competition to determine which couple can make the best gingerbread house. Jack is the judge. It is Eileen and Sam versus Castiel and Dean. Although, realistically, it is Eileen versus Dean. Sam and Castiel do not have particularly grand art skills. Eileen and Dean do though. Eileen has created a tall gingerbread elf and several shorter gingerbread elves standing outside of a two-story gingerbread house. Apparently, it is a reference to a movie called, _Elf_ that Dean promises they will watch after the competition is finished. Dean creates a strange green creature and several colorfully clothed characters from something called _How The Grinch Stole Christmas_ but-specifically-the-Jim-Carrey-one-from-2000. Dean promises they will also watch that one tonight. The creatures are standing around a gingerbread Christmas tree and there is an elaborately decorated gingerbread house.

When it is time for Jack to choose, he insists that he must look at them first and then they need to pick a piece for him to taste like they do on the show _Nailed It_. Jack adds his own personal touch to the procedure and uses his phone to take a picture of each creation.

 _“Okay. They are both equally delicious, so I’m going to have to judge based on look. So, Eileen wins because I don’t know what that green character is, Dean.”_ Jack signs. _“I also like that Eileen’s house has two stories. It’s cool.”_

 _“Yes!”_ Eileen signs. _“Good choice Jack.”_

Jack and Eileen high five.

 _“He’s the Grinch. I told you who he is and we’re going to watch the movie_.” Dean protests.

 _“But you said he hates Christmas. That’s not a very good figure for a gingerbread house if he hates Christmas.”_ Jack signs.

 _“I am on Eileen’s team, Jack.”_ Sam signs.

 _“Sam, if we’re all being honest, this was really between Eileen and Dean.”_ Jack signs and looks at Castiel. _“Sorry Dad.”_

Everyone laughs except for Sam.

 _“Sorry Sam.”_ Eileen signs as she laughs.

Sam smiles.

Everyone works together to prepare for their movie-marathon. They get plates out for the gingerbread houses, make hot chocolate, pop popcorn, and Castiel and Jack make pancakes while Dean makes eggs.

Eventually, Castiel catches Dean alone in the kitchen.

“Hey Dean, can I show you something?” Castiel asks.

“Sure, Cas.” Dean replies.

Castiel is excited for this one. He grabs Dean’s hand and leads him to his room. Dean drops by his room on the way and picks something up. He hides it in the pocket of his jeans. When they get to Castiel’s room, Castiel goes into his closet and pulls out today’s gift. He wrapped this one especially nicely. He hands it to Dean who smiles that same awkward smile he smiles every time he gets a gift. It’s almost like he’s worried that if he gets too excited, it’ll get taken away. Castiel would like a word with John Winchester…just to you know _talk_.

Dean opens up the gift and smiles. “Thanks for the bracelet, Cas.” Dean says.

“It’s not just a bracelet.” Castiel explains. He goes into his desk drawer and pulls out his bracelet. “It’s a touch bond bracelet. You have a blue one and I have a green one. It’s so if we ever end up separating again, we can still share touches.”

Dean’s eyes widen and he looks away from Castiel. Still not looking, he reaches out and gives Castiel’s hand a little squeeze. “This was,” Dean sniffles. “I don’t know why this is getting to me.” Dean shakes his head. “This is nice. I love it. Thank you, Cas.” Dean puts his bracelet on.

Castiel puts his bracelet on and touches it. Dean’s bracelet lights up and vibrates.

Dean smiles at Castiel. His eyes are glassy, but he’s got a wide smile on his face. “I’ve got something for you too.” He reaches into his back pocket and pulls out a bee keychain with a key on it. He hands it to Castiel saying, “So you can always come back home.”

Castiel smiles and his eyes burn. He loves this gift. “Thank you, Dean. I love it.”

“I also got you this.” Dean pulls a silver bracelet out of his back pocket. “There’s a message on the inside.”

Castiel studies the bracelet. Inscribed on the part of the bracelet that will touch his skin is the phrase: _Good things do happen_. There is a bumblebee beside the inscription.

Castiel hugs Dean.

“Like it?” Dean hugs Castiel back.

“Yes.” Castiel says. “Thank you.”

“You were right, Cas. Good things _do_ happen. I didn’t believe you, but I do now.”

Castiel kisses Dean.

“See? There’s a good thing right there. Here’s another.” Dean smiles and then kisses Castiel.

…

It’s 7:23pm on December 19, 2020. Castiel is wearing two bracelets. The one on his left hand is silver with words he once told Dean inscribed on the inside. The other is green, like Dean’s eyes, and it vibrates whenever Dean touches his bonded bracelet. Castiel sits in the living room of the bunker with his favorite beings. His Nephilim son, Jack. His beloved human, Dean. Two of his other favorite humans, Sam and Eileen. Castiel’s drinking from his new favorite bee mug. Dean’s beside him on the couch to his right. Jack is on the couch to his left. Sam and Eileen are on the other couch, snuggling.

Midway through the movie about that grinch character, Dean rests his head on Castiel’s shoulder. Castiel smiles and offers Dean his hand. Dean takes it and gives it a little squeeze. Castiel can’t help but smile wider even though they’re watching a sad part where a little girl sings about feeling confused about Christmas.

Castiel has never really thought much about what Christmas is about and where Christmas is supposed to be. But…if he were to guess, he imagines it’s about feeling this soft warmth light that he currently feels in his chest. It’s about being with the beings one loves. It’s about giving love and…perhaps it’s also about receiving it. Castiel is not sure if receiving is a Christmas-requirement, but he knows that it is something that he knows he has: love. And he feels quite lucky to receive it.

Castiel wants to tell everyone that he loves him right now, but he doesn’t want to disturb their movie. It’s okay. Castiel thinks about sharing jokes and gossiping about the Winchesters with Eileen, going on walks with Jack, having conversations with Sam, and sharing soft, careful touches with Dean. They all know that he loves them. Just like he knows they love him.


	8. The Eighth Day of Christmas: Snow Day

**The Eighth Day of Christmas: Snow Day**

**Dean**

It’s December 20, 2020 and Jack wakes everyone up at 6am on the dot because he saw that it had snowed five inches the night before. There has been a thin layer of snow on everything since the night they went stargazing, but now everything is completely covered in snow. It’s cute that Jack is this excited about snow. It’s unfortunate that Jack ran into Dean’s room at ass-o’clock when Dean wanted to sleep…

**6am**

“Cas! Dean!” Jack says.

Dean bolts upright expecting danger, but all he sees is Jack covered head to toe in white flakes that are melting by the second. Dean’s confused and looks at his clock. It’s 6am.

Cas sits up beside Dean and asks, “Jack, what’s wrong?”

“Nothing’s wrong. I saw the most amazing thing I have ever seen! You guys have to see it!” Jack grabs Cas’s wrist and Dean’s wrist, pulling them up. This does not go well, and Jack ends up dragging them both out of the bed and onto the floor, but Dean can’t really blame the kid. He’s excited about well… _something_.

“Jack, Jack, Jack. Wait.” Dean says. “Where are we going?”

“Outside! It snowed! A lot! It’s so beautiful!” Jack says.

“That does sound beautiful.” Cas says as he stands.

“That’s true, but you two need to put on some proper winter gear. It’s cold outside. You,” Dean points at Jack, “need to change because you are soaked and wearing a t-shirt. I don’t know if Nephilim can get sick from the cold, but let’s just be safe. Okay, Jack?”

Jack nods.

“Okay. Go put on a new set of clothes and this time include a sweater and your heavy coat.” Dean says.

“The yellow one we got when we went to the mall a few days ago?” Jack asks.

“Yeah, that one.” Dean nods.

“Okay,” Jack spins around and runs out of the room.

“Love that kid.” Dean chuckles. Then he looks at Cas who’s looking at him with just the softest smile. “What?”

Castiel smiles wider and shakes his head. “I…I like seeing you two get along.” Cas says.

Dean feels his face flush and he can’t help but look away. “Okay, let’s find you some cold weather clothes.”

“I’m an angel, I’m not sure if I get colds.”

“Still. Let’s get you some warm clothes just to be safe.”

They bundle Cas up in some extra layers under his trench-coat. Dean puts on some winter clothes too and they go outside.

Sam, Eileen, and Jack are already out there having a snowball fight.

“What are they doing?” Cas asks.

“It’s a snowball fight. It’s a game where you throw balls of snow at each other for fun.” Dean replies.

Cas tilts his head to the side. “Why is that fun? It’s a fight.”

“Huh.” Dean shrugs. “It just is, I guess. I don’t really know.”

Cas chuckles. “Every time I find out something new about humans, I’m always left with more questions than answers.”

Dean kisses Cas on the cheek. “I’m gonna go help Jack. Looks like Sam and Eileen are double-teaming him.” Dean jogs over to where everyone else is throwing snow. He makes a snowball and throws it right at Sam’s face. He gets him.

Sam flips Dean off and throws a snowball at him. It hits him in the side. Then Cas runs over and creates a series of perfect snowballs that he throws perfectly at Sam and Eileen. Jack laughs. Dean pauses just to watch. There are a lot of snowballs. How did Cas do that?

After he’s done, Cas looks at Dean and says, “I learned it from Buddy the Elf.”

Dean laughs. He loves this dorky angel. He walks over to Cas and kisses him. It occurs to him that this might be the first time he has done this in front of everyone, but he doesn’t care. Well, he does. But it’s not important. It’s not as important as the warm ball of light in his chest that he just has to share with Cas _right now_.

Cas pulls away a little. His hands are on Dean’s shoulders. Their faces are mere inches apart. Dean can feel Cas’s breath on his face. Cas’s cheeks are a little red and he’s smiling at Dean.

“What was that for?” Cas asks.

“You’re a huge dork.” Dean grins. “And I love you for it.”

Cas chuckles. “You kind of are too, and I love you for it as well.”

Dean laughs and kisses Cas again. Someone throws a slush ball at them. Dean looks up to see Sammy laughing. “Be right back.” Dean tells Cas.

Dean runs after Sam, signing, _“You’re a dead man!”_

Sam laughs as he runs away.

Dean hears Jack and Eileen laugh as he tackles Sam into a pile of snow.

…

**Dean**

Once everyone is effectively covered in snow, they go inside and shower and change into dry clothes. Dean decides today is a snow-day, which makes it a pajama kind of day, so he changes into his black t-shirt, his robe, his hotdog pajama bottoms, and the slippers from Cas. After getting changed, Dean walks over to Cas’s room and knocks on the door.

Cas opens the door. He’s wearing the cat pajamas that Dean got him. “Hello Dean. Should I put the hood on or off?” Cas asks.

It’s currently off, so Dean puts Cas’s hood on and grins. It’s ridiculously cute. Unfortunately, when they start walking to the kitchen, Cas runs into a wall.

“Hood off,” Dean says.

“I agree.” Cas replies, taking the hood off.

When they get to the kitchen, Sam, Eileen, and Jack are in there making coffee. They’re fully dressed.

Sam laughs when he sees Cas and Dean. “ _You two look cozy.”_ Sam signs.

 _“Yeah, no shit. It’s a snow-day. Where are your pajamas_?” Dean signs.

Eileen rolls her eyes at Dean, but she’s smiling.

 _“What’s a snow-day?”_ Jack asks.

 _“It’s when it snows outside so you stay home and wear pajamas and eat junk.”_ Dean explains.

 _“But we did that yesterday; what do we do on a snow-day to differentiate it from a regular day?”_ Cas signs.

 _“We eat special food. Popcorn, special breakfast, special lunch, soup at some point, hot chocolate.”_ Dean signs. He points at Jack. _“What do you want to eat for breakfast?”_

 _“Um. Chocolate waffles. Ooh! And pie.”_ Jack signs.

Dean grins. He loves this kid. _“He gets it.”_ Dean signs. _“What kind of pie?”_

 _“Any,”_ Jack signs.

 _“Okay. Go change into you pj’s little dude and we’ll get you some waffles.”_ Dean signs.

Jack runs out of the room.

Dean looks and sees Sam giving him a weird look.

 _“What?”_ Dean signs.

 _“If I didn’t know any better, I’d accuse you of spoiling him.”_ Sam signs.

 _“Yeah, well. He saved the friggin’ world. He can have a snow-day. All right?”_ Dean signs.

 _“Sam, stop being boring. Let’s change. Thanks for offering to make breakfast, Dean.”_ Eileen winks at Dean as she leaves.

Dean loves Eileen. He’s so glad she’s probably going to become his sister-in-law sometime soon.

Sam and Eileen walk away.

“So? What should we make first?” Cas asks.

“Pie will take longer to get ready, so pie. Good thing I have that new book full of recipes to try.” Dean grins at Cas. “Thank you, again.”

“Of course,” Cas smiles.

…

_Castiel_

Castiel and Dean cook and Castiel manages to not destroy everything. Somehow Castiel finds himself useful in the kitchen when accompanied by someone else.

“Is it strange that I can do a good job in the kitchen when accompanied by someone else?” Castiel asks Dean.

“Nah, it’s fine Cas.” Dean replies as he stirs some batter for the waffles. “You just need to get used to cooking. You haven’t done it a lot, so you’re not going to be very good yet. I used to be shit, but now I’m not. It’s just practice. Doing things that you’re bad at is easier if there are other people there to help.”

Castiel nods. It seems so obvious when Dean puts it that way.

Dean puts the bowl down and reaches over to grab something, but he hits the bowl which falls over and the batter spills all over Dean. “Shit,” Dean whispers. Then he looks at Castiel and says, “See? We all screw up in the kitchen sometimes.”

Castiel smiles. Then he flies to his room and flies back with a gift for Dean. “You may want this.” Castiel says, handing Dean the package.

“This is a set of pajamas; isn’t it?” Dean asks.

“ _Christmas_ pajamas.” Castiel replies.

Dean laughs. “Thanks, Cas.”

Castiel smiles. Dean has been laughing a lot lately. It’s Castiel’s favorite sound.

“I’ll clean this up. You got get changed. Okay?” Castiel says.

Dean hesitates and won’t look Castiel in the eyes for a few moments, but then he takes the present, gently puts his hand on Castiel’s face and kisses his forehead. “You’re too good to me, Cas.” Dean says.

“I’m not and I love you too, Dean.” Castiel replies.

Dean smiles a small smile and boops Castiel on the nose with his index finger.

Castiel is not sure why Dean boops him on the nose. He cocks his head to the side, trying to figure out what the purpose of the boop is, but he can’t help but smile at Dean’s silly gesture.

Dean’s smile widens. “I’ll be right back.” Dean tells Castiel.

“Okay.” Castiel says, “Boop,” Castiel boops Dean’s nose.

Dean laughs and walks away.

Castiel cleans up the mess. Dean comes back carrying a present. This one is wrapped in wrapping paper with a pattern of penguins ice-skating in a world where there are purple, blue, green, and red snowflakes.

“Thank you for the pj’s. These are fantastic.” Dean says. He’s wearing the slippers Castiel gave him a few days ago, a pair of the fuzzy socks from Castiel, the red and green striped pajama bottoms, and the long-sleeve shirt with the sloth wearing a Christmas hat.

“Of course,” Castiel says. “They look good on you.”

Dean smiles and says, “This is for you.” Dean hands Castiel the package.

Castiel takes the package and opens it. It’s a Christmas sweater with a cat wearing a Christmas hat. There’s a lot of the sweater to take in. There are ornaments. There are lights. It’s five different colors: silver, green, red, gold, and blue. Castiel loves it.

“This is amazing.” Castiel says.

“I’m glad you think so. Jack helped me pick it. He wants us all to take a picture in Christmas sweaters sometime in the next few days. He saw an advertisement for Christmas cards and the kid thought it was the coolest thing.” Dean explains.

Castiel is suddenly overcome with an overwhelming urge to hug Dean. He gives in. “I love it when you’re kind to him.” Castiel says.

“I love him. He’s…he’s the kid. He’s our kid. All of our kid. And…and despite everything, he’s kind. He’s so good. And I feel so awful about the shit I’ve put him through and…and I just want to make it up to him somehow and I don’t know how to do it, but I’m trying.” Dean hugs Castiel back. “I talked to him yesterday and I apologized for being a shithead, but it’s not enough. I need to keep proving to him nothing bad will happen again. At least, not because of me.”

“I think he knows.” Castiel says, thinking back to all the times he has discussed Dean with Jack. “He knows, Dean.”

“Yeah, I know Dean.” Jack says.

Dean pulls away from Castiel. “Oh, hey kid.”

“I see you gave Cas the sweater.” Jack nods at the sweater.

“Yeah, you were right. He liked it.” Dean smiles at Jack.

Jack grins. “This is going to be epic.”

Castiel smiles. “I really love you two.”

“Love you too!” Jack hugs Castiel.

“Love you both too.” Dean says as he joins the hug.


	9. The Ninth Day of Christmas: Bee Book and Coffees

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one’s angsty, but there’s a happy ending.

**The Ninth Day of Christmas: Bee Book and Coffees**

_Castiel_

It is 7:13AM on December 21, 2020. There is even more snow on the ground, so Castiel and Jack take a long walk to enjoy it. They build a family of snow-people. Jack knocks them down afterwards and then they make snow-angels in the ground. Something about the sight of Jack lying on the ground with wings around him unnerves Castiel. Perhaps it’s because it reminds him of Jack dying. Jack is having fun though, so Castiel decides not to say anything.

They go back to the bunker and Castiel sends Jack to change into dryer clothes. Castiel does the same and then goes to Dean’s room with today’s present.

Dean’s still in bed. He’s sweating and mumbling in his sleep.

“No…not…not him.” Dean mumbles.

Castiel shakes Dean’s shoulder. “Dean?” Castiel asks.

Dean jerks upright and Castiel ducks away to avoid clunking heads.

Dean looks at Castiel. There are tears in his eyes and his mouth shakes as he whispers, “Cas?”

“I’m here, Dean.” Castiel says.

Dean launches himself at Castiel. Castiel feels a pain deep in his chest as his best friend, his beloved, as _Dean_ , shoves his face into his chest and wraps his arms around him. Castiel feels his shirt get wet where Dean’s face is. He hugs Dean back and presses a gentle kiss into Dean’s hair.

“You died.” Dean’s voice wavers. He tightens his grip on Castiel and Castiel’s heart _hurts_.

“I’m here, Dean.” Castiel says. “I’m here.”

“Cas,” Dean’s voice breaks and he lets out a small sob, followed by another, and another.

“It’s okay now.” Castiel hugs Dean tighter. “It’s okay. Just let it out.”

Dean cries for a long time. When he lifts his head up, he just stares at Castiel with those big green eyes of his.

Castiel gently thumbs away Dean’s tears. “Hello Dean.” Castiel says.

Dean laughs. It’s wet and a little broken, but still beautiful. Still Dean Winchester. “Hi Cas.”

“Are you feeling better?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah,” Dean nods.

“Do you want to talk about it?”

Dean hesitates and says, “I saw The Empty take you again. It…it was,” Dean sighs. “I’m just glad you’re alive. I’m really friggin’ glad you’re alive.”

“I’m glad you’re alive too, Dean.”

Dean smiles. “I guess we’re in agreement then.”

“Yeah,” Castiel smiles. Then he remembers. “Oh, I have something for you.”

“Oh, okay. I have something for you too.”

“You first this time though.” Castiel grabs the present and hands it to Dean.

It’s a basket that Castiel put together himself. It consists of two mugs with phrases Castiel thought Dean would think were funny, three pairs of socks with food patterns on them, and several kinds of coffees from different brands so Dean can try them and pick his favorites. He often complains that the coffee he drinks tastes like dirt.

“Oh, wow. Thanks Cas.” Dean grins as he looks through the basket.

“I hope you like it.”

“Of course, I like it. Although, this one is more accurate if you keep it.” Dean holds up the mug with the bee that says “You are bee-utiful.”

“No, Dean. _You_ are beautiful.”

Dean’s face turns red and he says, “Thanks,” in a quiet voice.

“Do you want to try some of the coffees?” Castiel asks.

“Yes. But first, I need to give you your gift for today.” Dean replies. He gets up and grabs something out of his closet. He returns to Castiel and hands him a book. “It’s about bees.” Dean explains. “I know how much you like them.”

Castiel looks at the book and flips through some pages. There are several adorable images of bees. He’s excited to get to explore this book further. “This is wonderful. Thank you, Dean.” Castiel says.

“Anything for you, Cas.” Dean reaches out and grabs onto Castiel’s arm. (Probably because Castiel’s hands are full.) Dean gives Castiel’s arm a little squeeze and says, “That’s how I’m trying to do things now.”

“I don’t want everything or a promise of anything, Dean. I just want you.”

Dean looks away from Castiel, blinking. Then he smiles and says, “I guess I’ll have to be enough then.”

Castiel puts his book on Dean’s bed and takes Dean’s face in his hands as gently as he can. “You are.” Castiel tells Dean. He kisses Dean’s forehead in the spot he used to touch when he physically healed Dean. Castiel smiles and says, “Let’s go make some breakfast.”

Dean smiles and nods. “Let’s do that.”

…

_Castiel_

The day is spent as the last few have been: breakfast, movie, lunch, movie, dinner, even more movies. This time, everyone’s a little restless, so they play boardgames and card games. They challenge each other to see who can stick the most objects in their mouths. Sam can stick thirty-five black olives in his mouth. Dean can stick six big marshmallows in his mouth. This competition was mostly just between Sam and Dean while everyone else watched feeling awkward.

Eventually, everyone is tired, and they all say their goodnights.

Castiel and Dean head off to Dean’s room and get ready for bed. Instead of going to sleep, they just lie there, talking, with their faces only inches apart. Castiel loves being this close to Dean. He treasures these moments. He spent so long wishing to be like this with Dean and now he is and sometimes it feels like a beautiful dream that Castiel does not want to wake up from.

“Pinch me,” Castiel says.

“What? Why?” Dean asks.

“So, I know this is real.”

Dean takes Castiel’s hand in his and pinches Castiel’s palm. It doesn’t hurt, but Castiel does feel it. Pinching does not belong in dreams; therefore, this must be real.

“Was it real?” Dean asks.

“Yes,” Castiel says.

They resume their talking, not really saying much of anything. Dean doesn’t let go of Castiel’s hand. He just traces pattens into the palm. This goes on for approximately an hour.

“Sometimes, I think this might be my favorite part of the day.” Dean says as he pulls Castiel close.

Castiel’s heart does a somersault in his chest. Castiel had not been terribly aware of a vessel’s heart prior to meeting Dean. Then he met Dean and Jimmy Novak’s heart kept doing strange things: beating faster, skipping a beat, somersaulting around.

“Yeah?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah,” Dean replies.

“I think this might be my favorite part of the day too. I enjoy this time we spend together when the world seems to go still.”

“Sometimes, I’ll wake up in your arms and think about how lucky I am to be here with you. And I’ll just,” Dean clears his throat. “I’ll kinda watch you sleep.”

“You watch over me. I do the same for you.”

Dean chuckles, “Yeah, something like that…but I also like to do it because I would feel strange staring at you while you’re awake.”

“Why?”

“Because, then you look at me with those piercing blue eyes of yours and I can’t look anywhere but your eyes. They’re…they’re mesmerizing.”

Castiel doesn’t know what to say in response to that. He just stares at Dean, trying to find words to say. “Sometimes you leave me without words.”

“You do the same to me too sometimes. I love you…and I’m learning how to say it in new ways. Like talking about your eyes. So, you’ll be hearing a lot more of that in the future.” Dean boops Castiel’s nose.

Castiel is not sure why Dean booped his nose again. “Why have you started doing that?”

Dean shrugs and grins like a mischievous kid. “You’re cute when you’re confused. Would you prefer me to stop? I don’t mind stopping.”

Castiel boops Dean’s nose. “I don’t mind some boops.”

Dean’s smile softens and he looks at Castiel with something…special in his eyes…perhaps love. Dean has looked at Castiel this way before several times over the years, but he always looked away. Now, he’s staring right at Castiel with that special something in his eyes and it’s taking Castiel’s breath away. He’s not used to seeing anyone openly look at him with… _love_ in their eyes. He likes it but it’s…strange.

“You really do…love me; don’t you?” Castiel whispers.

“Yes. I love you, Cas.” Dean replies. He brings the hand of Castiel’s that he’s holding to his lips and presses light kisses into Castiel’s knuckles.

Castiel shivers and whispers, “I love you too, Dean.” He hugs Dean and says, “So, very, very much.”


	10. The Tenth Day of Christmas: Moments and Musings

**The Tenth Day of Christmas: Moments and Musings**

**Dean**

On December 22, 2020 at who-knows-what-time-because-Dean-sure-as-Hell-doesn’t, Dean wakes up to find Castiel asleep beside him. It’s not often that Dean wakes up before Cas does, so he studies his face as he sleeps. It’s probably creepy, but Dean doesn’t care right now, and he highly doubts that Cas does. He referred to their—now mutual—habit as watching over each other so Dean doesn’t think Cas will be upset when he wakes up to find Dean staring at him.

It’s wild to think that Castiel, Angel of Thursday, is eons old because first of all, that’s an unfathomable number of years, and second of all, Cas doesn’t look it when he sleeps. It’s his eyes. They carry all those years inside of them. When Cas is asleep, and his eyes are closed, and he’s relaxed, and snoring quietly (just quietly enough that it’s somehow cute—friggin’ angel), he seems younger. Maybe Dean’s age, maybe even younger than that. Dean doesn’t understand it. He sighs.

Maybe…maybe _younger_ isn’t really the right word. Maybe it’s more like freer or unburdened. He’s not bearing the weight of having been alive as long as he has. He’s not worried about the imminent deaths of family and friends. He’s not upset because of the cause he served for all those years that turned out to be based in cruelty and destruction. He’s not heartbroken because his fellow angels have cast him out. He’s…at peace when he sleeps.

Dean thinks back to their conversation from last night. He didn’t really expect to admit to Cas that he does this and that he loves these quiet moments with him. He does though. He loves this time when the world seems—like Cas said—still. And quiet. And soft. And there’s nothing that will disturb them. They are at peace for these short, precious hours or minutes or seconds before they’re both awake and enjoying the happy chaos that is their family.

Dean loves his family. He’s excited to spend a real Christmas with Jack and Sam and Eileen and Cas. Dean spent that year with Lisa and Ben, but that had a hellish start and it never felt quite right. Dean loved Lisa and Ben, but it wasn’t where Dean really wanted to be. He _wanted_ to want to be there. He wanted so badly to want to be there, but he missed Sam and Bobby and Cas. He wanted those members of his family back and Lisa and Ben couldn’t fill those holes in Dean’s life. It wasn’t fair of Dean to expect them to in the first place.

Now, Dean’s here with these four people he loves more than anything else in the world and he wonders how he was lucky enough for this to happen. For them to all live to see another Christmas. This family also had a hellish start. He really didn’t think they would make it.

“You’re thinking quite loudly.” Cas mumbles, shifting to rest his head on Dean’s chest.

Dean wraps his arms around Cas and asks, “Can you hear my thoughts?”

“No,” Cas snuggles up to Dean. “You’re tense. I assumed you must be thinking.”

“Wait; so, you’re telling me that you think it must be difficult for me to think?”

“If that’s what you want to say.” Cas yawns.

Dean smiles. “Go back to sleep, Cas.”

“’kay. Love you, Dean.”

“I love you too, Cas.”

Dean presses a kiss to the top of his sleepy angel’s head. Maybe he should just count his blessings—starting with this one in his arms—and try not to get too existential about the rest.

Dean falls asleep again.

…

Dean wakes up to blue eyes staring at him and a soft, affectionate smile on the face of his favorite person.

“Hello Dean.” Cas says. His breath is gross, but it’s Cas and Dean is just glad to have Cas this close to him. It’s a gift to have this dorky angel who wears a trench-coat every day this close to him. Stinky breath is a small price to pay to get to look into the eyes of the love of his life.

“Mornin’ Cas.” Dean kisses Cas.

Cas kisses Dean back and pulls away. “I do not think I have noticed that your breath is disgusting in the morning.”

Dean chuckles. “Yours too, pal.”

Cas smiles.

“So, Cas, why is the light on? Do we need to get up?” Dean asks.

Cas’s cheeks turn a little red. “I wanted better light to watch you sleep.”

Dean laughs and hugs Cas. “You are such a dork.”

Cas chuckles and hugs Dean back. “I wish we could just stay here like this.” Cas says.

“Yeah, that would be nice.” Dean replies. The thought fills Dean with an amount of longing that surprises himself. Why does he want these things now? Is it because he’s older? More traumatized? Or is it because it’s Cas? Because all Dean wants to do is lay here in bed with Cas. Just…holding each other. Maybe they’ll talk, maybe they won’t, but he just wants to be right here, right now, doing exactly this for as long as possible.

There’s a knock on his door.

Dammit.

“What’s up?” Dean asks.

“Eileen and I are running to the store. Do you need anything?” Sammy asks.

“Toothpaste,” Cas whispers.

Dean laughs. “Toothpaste!” He tells Sammy.

“I don’t know why that’s funny, but okay. Anything else?”

Dean looks at Cas who makes a face and shrugs.

“Nope! We’re good!” Dean replies.

“We?” Sammy asks. “Who’s in there?”

“Santa Claus. Who the hell do you think is in here with me?” Dean says.

Sammy doesn’t reply, but Dean can hear him laughing as he walks away from Dean’s door. Little shit.

“He’s lucky it’s warm here or I’d go cut his hair or something.” Dean mumbles.

Cas laughs. “You wouldn’t do that. You love your brother, and your brother loves his hair.”

“Yeah, well. I love you and he keeps making stupid jokes.”

“We actually had a conversation about that recently.”

“Oh yeah? What did Sammy say?”

“He said that he’s happy for us. And that we took too damn long to get together, so he wants to rub it in your face every chance he gets.”

“Yep. I’m definitely buying Nair after the holidays are over. I don’t want to ruin the pictures, but I want to ruin at least one of his days in January.”

Cas chuckles and untangles himself from Dean. He gets out of bed, offers Dean his hand, and says, “You need food.”

Dean takes Cas’s hand and Cas pulls him to his feet. “Maybe you can show me how to make those pancakes you and Jack made the other day?”

Cas looks around and beacons Dean closer.

Dean leans in.

Cas whispers, “The secret is shaved chocolate in the batter.”

“Yeah?”

“Yes.”

“Well, let’s go make some pancakes.” Dean bumps Cas’s shoulder with his own. “Thanks for sharing the secret with me.”

“Anything for you, Dean.” Cas smiles.

Dean’s heart drops for a moment as he remembers Cas covered in black goo, smiling at Dean because he was able to save him one last time. When Cas says anything, he means anything. How many times has Cas died for or because of Dean? Too many.

Dean doesn’t know what to say, so he just gives Cas’s hand a little squeeze as they’re walking.

Cas looks at Dean and frowns but doesn’t say anything. He lets go of Dean’s hand and puts his arm around Dean’s shoulders instead.

…

_Castiel_

Dean seems a little lost in his thoughts, but he does not say anything, so Castiel decides to let it go. He leads Dean to the kitchen and shows him all the ingredients that he and Jack used the other day to make pancakes. Castiel is not sure if Jack went to the store with Sam and Eileen. He hasn’t seen Jack this morning, but he has also been with Dean the whole time so it makes sense that he hasn’t seen Jack yet.

“What’s your favorite Christmas movie?” Cas asks Dean.

“I don’t know. Maybe _Rudolph_ or _Home Alone_. I used to put traps all over the motel rooms we stayed in whenever Dad was gone after I watched the movie the first time. I was eleven.” Dean shrugs.

“I would love to see the movie that gave you inspiration.”

Dean smiles. “I want Jack to see this one; it’s really funny. We’ll have to watch it later.”

Castiel’s heart swells in his chest.

“What did you want Jack to see?” Jack asks.

“Hey, kiddo.” Dean smiles at Jack.

“Hi Jack.” Castiel waves at Jack.

“Hi Dads.” Jack waves at Castiel and Dean.

“I was just telling Cas that you need to watch a hilarious movie called, _Home Alone_.” Dean says. “We can watch it with breakfast if Cas wants to watch it.”

Jack turns to Castiel and asks, “Can we Cas?”

Dean Winchester is a little shit.

…

**Dean**

“I’m confused. Why are they attacking the small child and why didn’t the small child call the police?” Cas asks.

“They want to steal his family’s stuff ‘cuz his parents are loaded, and Kevin’s parents do call the cops and they don’t do shit, so maybe that’s why Kevin didn’t call the cops.” Dean replies.

“It might have also made for a shorter movie.” Jack comments. He’s watching the screen with his hands over his eyes, peeking out from between his fingers. For some reason Jack can watch the horrors of real life without blinking but watching someone step on a nail is too scary. That’s a little strange, but it’s okay. Fear doesn’t always make sense.

“Want another pancake kiddo?” Dean asks, holding up the pancake plate.

“I’m good. Thanks though.” Jack replies.

…

**Dean**

“We should make traps like that around the bunker!” Jack announces after the movie’s over.

“I’m not sure that would be wise.” Castiel says.

“That would be really fun, but I would probably forget where the traps are and I would uh, bamboozle myself with them.” Dean says.

Jack laughs.

“Wanna watch another movie?” Dean asks.

“Sure,” Jack replies.

…

_Castiel_

They spend the day watching Christmas movies with Jack.

Sam and Eileen get back from their day out in the evening and they make lasagna. While Sam and Eileen are in the kitchen, Castiel and Dean sneak into Dean’s room where they exchange presents. Today’s are simple, but really nice. Castiel got Dean a new pair of noise-cancelling headphones. Dean got Castiel a notebook with a cartoon bee pattern on the cover and a set of colorful pens to write in it with. The pen-set is magnificent and so is the notebook.

“These are so wonderful.” Castiel tells Dean. “Thank you so much.”

“Thank you for the headphones. Mine were getting old.” Dean says. “And I thought you might want to have something to take notes on while you do your bee-research, so that’s why I got you the notebook and pens. I mean, you should write whatever you want in there, but that’s why I got it for you.”

“Thank you, Dean. This is…sweet.” Castiel says.

Dean’s face turns red and he smiles. He rubs the back of his neck and then reaches out, grabs Castiel’s hand, and gives it a little squeeze. Castiel returns the pressure and Dean’s smile widens.

Castiel smiles and feels warm on the inside. He looks at Dean’s hand holding his. This is the hand of the man he loves. This hand has been used to kill, punch, stab, break things, fix things, patch up wounds, cook meals, fix cars, wipe away tears, and now it is being used to hold Castiel’s hand firmly, but oh so gently. This hand is a part of Dean. Dean, who Castiel has loved ever since he gripped him tight and raised him out of perdition. Dean, who Castiel didn’t realize he loved until years later when he had a better grasp of what love even is. Dean, who has spent so much time taking care of others and doing what he thought he needed to do to be useful…as if the only way he deserved to exist was if he made himself useful to the people around him. Castiel desperately hopes Dean will begin to believe that he does not need to be useful to be loved. It breaks his heart knowing that’s what Dean thinks of himself. Especially when it takes so little to make Dean smile sometimes. Like right now, all he needed was acceptance in a time he didn’t have words. He just needed a gentle pressure returning his own. Castiel just wishes he could do more for Dean.

But…Dean looks happy right now and maybe living in the moment is what is needed after everything they have been through.


	11. The Eleventh Day of Christmas: That Damned Squirrel

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter starts with a bad poem. No, I am not sorry.

**The Eleventh Day of Christmas: That Damned Squirrel**

It was two nights before Christmas  
and all through the bunker  
a squirrel runs loose.  
And holy shit! It’s a hunker!

Jack is the first  
to try to catch the “furry friend”  
but he falls on his face  
and his turn to catch the squirrel comes to an end.

Sammy is next  
he pivots and dives  
but the squirrel is quick  
leaving Sammy cussing about the strangeness of their lives.

Cas is third  
he tries to catch the squirrel with care.  
But he is left vexed  
when he grabs nothing but squirrel hair.

Dean if fourth and he tries a scare tactic  
but it doesn’t work; he swears the squirrel laughs at it.  
The squirrel runs straight for Dean who gets frantic  
and runs away from the squirrel yelling, “Oh shit!”

Eileen is last,  
but she’s the one who saves the day.  
She opens the door  
and the squirrel runs her way.

The squirrel runs out the door  
and scurries out of sight.  
Dean’s left unsure  
who had the worst fright.

The squirrel or the hunters and Nephilim and angel?  
Dean’s a little ashamed that it is even a question.

“ _Well_ ,” Dean signs as he pants from running. “ _That sucked_.”

Castiel chuckles and pats Dean’s shoulder.

Jack laughs.

 _“I can’t believe none of you thought to open the door.”_ Eileen signs.

…

**Dean**

Dean steps in something squishy. It’s squirrel poop and he’s wearing socks. “Fuck,” he grumbles as he takes his sock off. At least it wasn’t one of the new ones Cas got him. He just throws the old sock away.

“Step in squirrel poop again?” Cas asks.

“Yes.” Dean tries not to whine.

“My condolences for your sock.”

“Yeah, can’t wear that one again.”

“I wonder how long it was in here.”

“I have no idea. And I _really_ don’t want to know how long that furry little demon was here.”

Cas laughs and hugs Dean. “You’ve had a hard day.” Cas says.

Dean hugs him back and chuckles. “It’s noon, Cas.”

“A bad morning then, perhaps the rest of the day will be better.”

“Perhaps.”

“Do you want to see what I got you for today? Everyone else is busy.”

Dean perks up immediately. He’s excited to show Cas what he got him for today. It took him three days to put it together. He had Jack distract Cas for a little while and then he’d put the pieces together.

“Let’s do it.” Dean grins.

Cas smiles.

Dean grabs Cas’s hand and they walk to Dean’s room. Cas stops in his room to grab his present and Dean runs into his room to grab his present from the closet.

Cas walks into Dean’s room and holds out a basket, “I made a basket for Baby.”

Dean smiles and hides his gift behind his back with one hand, taking the basket in his other hand. Cas _did_ make a basket for Baby. It’s perfect. He got a dash duster, extra towels, the polish and wax Dean likes, and several other things that Dean already has for Baby only these are _way_ nicer than the ones Dean typically buys for himself.

“Thanks, Cas.” Dean puts the basket down and hugs Cas.

Cas hugs Dean back. “I know how much you love Baby.”

“Maybe not as much as I love you though.”

Cas laughs. “I am honored.”

Dean lets go and hands Cas the photo-album he made. “I know how much you like pictures, so I printed some out and put them in here for you. I only filled like a quarter of the book so you can fill it with the new memories we’ll make.” Dean explains.

Cas looks through the photo-album and puts his hand over his mouth. “This is,” Cas flips to a new page. This page has several pictures of Dean and Cas. Some are old. Some were taken as recently as this morning. “How? This was yesterday.” Cas points. “And this was right after the squirrel—Jack took that one.”

“I had Jack’s help.” Dean grins. “We bought a printer when we were at the mall that time and for the past few days, I’ve had him distract you so I could run to his room to print stuff out.”

“Dean,” Cas whispers. “I…I love it.” He hugs the photo-album.

“You okay buddy?”

Cas smiles and wipes his eyes. “Yeah,” he nods. “I just…I love seeing us all together. Happy. And…and you included the ones we lost.”

“Well, they’re family.”

“Yeah,” Cas sniffles. “Sorry, I just keep thinking about everything and it’s leaving me…raw. I suppose.”

“Wanna talk about it?”

“Yes. But also no. Don’t want to ruin the night.”

“Come here,” Dean pulls Cas into his arms.

Cas hugs Dean back and is silent for a while, but then he says, “We’re just so lucky to have survived. But I can’t help but wonder…why us?”

“I don’t know. I keep wondering about it too, but I can’t decide if it’s better to think about it or ignore it. It’s probably survivor’s guilt or something.” Dean admits.

“Yeah, something like that.” Cas sniffs and rests his face on Dean’s shoulder.

“What do you think brought this on?”

“I don’t know…Perhaps it was the photo-album, remembering old times and treasuring now. Perhaps it was trying to catch the squirrel today. That’s the closest we have been on a hunt since I have been back, and it just made me think.”

“That damned squirrel.”

Cas laughs wetly.

Dean chuckles and kisses Cas on the cheek.

“I would hate for one of us to die on a hunt after all we’ve been through.” Cas whispers.

Dean feels cold.

He has been thinking about that too ever since they got Cas back. That’s why he hasn’t even looked for a hunt. Sam and Eileen have been on one. They’ve been consulted about others. This life seems to still fulfill them in a way it hasn’t fulfilled Dean in well… _a while_ actually.

But his dad wanted them to hunt. He raised them to hunt. What would he say if Dean stopped hunting to what? Retire with Cas? Go run a restaurant and become the new Ellen? Take Jack with them and let him be normal? Or at least as normal as Jack can be.

That…that doesn’t sound _bad._ That sounds pretty friggin’ good after everything they’ve been through.

“Me too,” Dean whispers. “Maybe,”

Dean feels like he punched himself in the chest.

What would his dad think about this?

Why the hell does he still care about what his dad thinks of him?

Why can’t he just be happy?

Doesn’t he deserve to be happy?

All those years. All this pain. Don’t they all deserve to do whatever the hell they want now?

Don’t they deserve to try to find peace on Earth?

Tears of frustration fill Dean’s eyes. He fights a lump building in his throat, and he looks at Cas.

Cas deserves to be happy.

So does Jack.

And Sammy.

And Eileen.

And.

And maybe…just maybe Dean does too.

Dean can’t believe he’s even thinking about saying this.

Cas pulls away and looks into Dean’s eyes. “Maybe…maybe what, Dean?” Cas whispers.

“Maybe,” Dean whispers and puts his hand on Cas’s face. “Maybe we should…maybe we should retire.”

Cas stares at Dean for a few moments before whispering, “Are you sure?”

“Yes…and no.”

“You need to be sure before taking action.”

“I know. It’s…it’s something I’ve been thinking about since we got you back. I can’t lose you again. Sammy’s gonna do what he wants and I think what he wants is to hunt. I think that’s what Eileen wants too. I don’t know what Jack wants. And I’m not sure I know what you want either. But I want to,” A painful sob tears from Dean’s throat. “But I want to _rest_.” Dean admits.

“Okay, Dean.” Cas nods. “Let’s rest.” Cas takes Dean’s free hand and gives it a squeeze.

Dean’s heart skips a beat. “I really do love you. So much.” Dean whispers as tears escape his eyes.

“I know.” Cas wipes away Dean’s tears. “I love you too.”

Dean smiles and kisses Cas. Cas kisses him back.

When they pull away, Cas asks, “So, what’s the plan?”

Dean can’t help but stare at Cas. He’s looking at Dean with a wide smile on his face and utter…Dean doesn’t want to say _adoration_ , but he doesn’t know another way to describe the look in Cas’s eyes. No one else has ever looked at Dean this way and Dean doesn’t think anyone else ever will. Dean doesn’t _want_ anyone else to look at him like that anyway.

“How do you feel about restaurants?” Dean asks.

“I’ll make pancakes and you’ll cook everything else?”

Dean laughs, “Only if you want to—obviously.”

“Anything for you, Dean. Anything.” Cas says. “But honestly, that sounds fun.”

“You’re willing to leave all this? All we’ve known for the last few years? To start over with me?”

“Dean, you are my home. I will follow you to the ends of the earth if it means I can be by your side.”

Dean feels warm inside. His heart is racing, thinking about the future. _Having_ a future with Cas. He hugs Cas. “I love you.” Dean says.

Cas hugs Dean back—tightly. “I love you too.”

…

**Dean**

It’s 8pm on December 23, 2020. Dean just lost another sock to squirrel shit, but he doesn’t even care. Not really. He just tosses it in the trash, washes his hands, and brings the popcorn he was popping for Cas into the living room. They’re watching _The Polar Express_. Jack saw the train and thought it looked cool. Dean likes the movie. The song about hot chocolate is catchy. Of course, Dean feels so good right now that he thinks he would like any movie they watched.

Dean brings the popcorn to Cas and sits beside him on the couch. Cas puts the popcorn in his lap and puts his arm around Dean. Dean leans against Cas and somehow it feels better than ever to be right here, right now. For the first time in years, Dean feels free.

“I love you.” Cas whispers. He kisses Dean on the cheek.

“I love you too.” Dean kisses Cas on the cheek.


	12. The Twelfth Day of Christmas: A Cat and a Card

**The Twelfth Day of Christmas: A Cat and a Card**

_Castiel_

Castiel wakes up in Dean’s arms. It’s his favorite way to wake up: warm, in the arms of the man he loves the most.

Of course, this morning is a little different than usual. This morning is the morning of Christmas Eve and Jack is shaking Dean awake asking about Santa Claus.

“Are we going to put anything out for Santa Claus? We’ve watched all those movies that featured him, and they all said you have to put cookies out for him! Why did he come if we didn’t put cookies out for him the other years?” Jack asks.

Castiel turns to look at Dean who is holding up his index finger which is Dean’s typical hand-gesture to request that someone stop talking to him for a moment.

“Yes, we should put something out for Santa. Do you have a cookie request? Also,” Dean yawns, “the reason why Santa came despite us not putting out milk and cookies is because he gets that sometimes people forget and that he shouldn’t punish good kids based on that. Either that or he thought you were so extra good that you didn’t need to bribe him with sweets. But, this year we’ll put some cookies out because you want us to. Sound good?”

Jack nods.

“Do you have a cookie flavor in mind, or do you want to decide together later?” Dean asks.

“Let’s decide together later.” Jack says.

Dean smiles at Jack. “That sounds good. Can you turn on the coffee maker? I’ll be out in a bit and I’ll whip us up some breakfast. What do you want to eat?”

Jack scrunches his eyebrows together and stares off into the corner for a moment. Then he says, “Could we do eggs and bacon and pancakes?”

Dean nods. “Classic breakfast. We’ll be out in five. Okay?”

“Okay.” Jack grins at Dean. He looks at Castiel and puts his hand up to wave, “Good morning, Cas!”

“Good morning, Jack.” Castiel smiles at his son.

“I’ll see you two in a bit!” With that, Jack runs out of the room.

“You are positively chipper this morning.” Castiel grins at Dean. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you hold such a long conversation before coffee.” He pokes Dean in the side.

Dean giggles and squirms away.

Castiel will have to try tickling him later.

“I’m excited for today is all.” Dean shrugs. “I have a surprise planned.” Dean winks at Castiel and leans over to kiss him on the forehead. Dean’s morning breath is gross, but Castiel loves the affectionate kiss.

Then the panic sets in.

All Castiel got Dean was a wallet card and Dean’s talking about a special surprise and winking at him. That must mean the special surprise is for him. (Castiel assumes.) Is a wallet card a worthy surprise? It’s a reminder that he loves Dean that Dean will see every time he opens his wallet. That must be good enough…right?

Castiel decides it doesn’t matter right now because Dean will love the Christmas gift Castiel will give him tomorrow, so if Dean doesn’t like the wallet card, then he’ll at least like the Christmas gift.

Plus, Dean is excited right now and Castiel just wants to bask in Dean’s joy and excitement.

“You’re cute when you’re excited.” Castiel says.

Dean’s face turns red and he grabs Castiel’s hand, giving it a little squeeze before saying, “Let’s go. I need your help with the special pancakes.”

“If we’re going to really run a restaurant, we better practice.” Castiel replies.

A wide grin stretches across Dean’s face and he kisses Castiel. He gives Castiel’s lip a little nip and says, “I love hearing you say that. I would show you how much I love it, but we have a kid waiting for those special pancakes of yours, so we need to go cook. But I just want to let you know that’s how I’m feeling right now.”

Castiel forgets how to breathe for a moment and Dean has the audacity to wink at him.

Dean gets off the bed and offers Castiel his hand. Castiel takes it and they walk to the kitchen together.

But Castiel can’t wait for later and he says, “Dean,” Then he grabs Dean’s face and kisses him.

Dean kisses Castiel back. Dean’s leaning against the nearby wall and his arms are around Castiel’s waist. All Castiel can focus on is Dean. Dean. He has wanted to kiss this man for so long and something about that wink that opened a dam inside Castiel. Dean. He just needs to touch him. Dean. His friend. Dean. His love. Dean. His heart. They’re not soulmates. They could never be soulmates. This was never supposed to happen. Chuck said so himself. But here they are and they’re making plans to leave this life behind and Castiel has never been this excited about something in his entire existence.

“Guys?” Jack asks. “Are we making pancakes?”

Castiel laughs. He puts his hands on Dean’s shoulders and leans his forehead against Dean’s chest. “We’ll be right there, Jack.” Castiel says.

“Okay,” Jack says and walks back to the kitchen.

“Guess we better go.” Dean says. Castiel feels Dean wrap his arms around him and kiss him on the cheek.

“Yes.” Castiel replies. “We should.” Castiel pulls away from Dean and offers his hand.

Dean grins and takes Castiel’s hand, squeezing three times. Castiel smiles at Dean and returns the pressure. Dean’s smile widens.

…

**Dean**

Dean is so excited. He has sworn Jack to secrecy, but he knows that Jack is excited to go with Dean to pick up Cas’s present for today.

Cas is very touchy today. Dean really can’t say much though. Ever since he woke up, all he has wanted to do is put his hands on Cas. He’s just so excited for their future. It’s like he can’t believe this is really his life and he needs a near-constant touch to remind himself that this is real.

“I need to run an errand. Jack is going with me, but Sam and Eileen are watching a movie, so you should watch it with them.” Dean tells Cas.

“Okay,” Cas boops Dean on the nose.

Dean is caught off-guard and he laughs loudly. “Come here, you dork.” Dean hugs Cas. “We’ll be back soon.”

Cas laughs and hugs Dean. “Have fun with Jack. Be safe on the snowy roads.”

“I always drive safely.” Dean says.

“That is what you would call bullshit, Dean.”

Dean laughs again and he kisses Cas on the cheek before pulling away. “We’ll be fine, Cas.” Dean kisses Cas on the lips one more time and has to run for the door so he’s not tempted to stay. “Love you, Cas!” Dean calls over his shoulder.

“Love you too!” Cas replies.

Dean looks back at Cas and waves at him. He runs into the wall. “Shit,” Dean laughs. “Bye!”

“Bye, Dean.” Cas waves.

“Bye Cas!” Jack waves.

Dean and Jack walk out the door and get into Baby. They listen to Christmas music on the way to the animal shelter and sing along as Dean drives.

They get to the shelter and Dean grabs the small cat carrier he and Jack bought when they went to the mall. Then Dean walks straight to the counter where the worker he bribed to hold one of the kittens is working. “Still got her?” Dean asks.

“Do you still have the money?” Todd, the worker, replies.

“Yep,” Dean pulls out half the “tip” and puts it on the counter.

“This is only half.”

“Get the cat and you’ll get the rest.”

Todd nods and heads into the back. Todd comes back out with an orange kitten with bright blue eyes that remind Dean of Cas’s eyes. “This is her.” Todd says.

Dean puts his hand out and the cat licks his fingers the same way she did the last time he saw her. Even if this isn’t the same cat (although Dean is pretty sure that she is the one he bribed Todd to put on reserve for him) she’s really cute.

“Can I hold her?” Jack asks.

“Of course, you can.” Dean says as he hands Todd the other half of the “tip.”

Todd hands Jack the kitten. Jack smiles.

“When you’re done, please put her in the cat carrier.” Dean tells Jack, putting the carrier on the ground near Jack’s feet.

“Okay,” Jack says.

“All right. Let’s get this paperwork filled out.” Dean says.

Todd helps Dean fill out the rest of the paperwork. Dean lists himself and Castiel as the owners of the cat just to be safe.

“We have a sale on candy cane collars.” Todd says.

“I’ve already got that covered. Thanks though.” Dean puts his wallet back in his pocket. “Thanks Todd.”

“Don’t mention it.” Todd says. “Really.”

Dean laughs.

“All right Jack, let’s go.” Dean says. He looks to make sure that the cat is in the cat carrier. She is. Dean carries the carrier out of the shelter and he and Jack get in the car. They drive back to the bunker. Dean can’t wait to see Cas’s face when he meets his new kitten.

…

**Dean**

As soon as they pull up, Dean sends Sam a text telling him to bring Cas to the garage.

Jack is practically vibrating in the passenger seat. “He’s gonna love you.” Jack tells the kitten. “Yes, he is.” Then he hands the carrier to Dean and says, “She’s from you. You should give her to him.”

“You sure?” Dean asks.

“Yeah,” Jack grins.

“Okay,” Dean takes the carrier from Jack and holds the carrier in his lap. Dean gets a text from Sam.

SAMMY: Incoming.

The door opens and Cas walks into the garage. Through the corner of his eye, Dean can see Jack pulling out his phone.

“I’m recording,” Jack whispers.

Dean chuckles. Then he gets out of the car and smiles at Cas. “Hey Cas. Are you ready for your surprise?” Dean asks.

Cas tilts his head to the side and stares at Dean. “Dean? What is this?” Cas asks.

“This,” Dean can’t stop smiling. He carefully sits the cat carrier on the ground. “Is your new kitten.” Dean pulls the kitten out of the carrier and hands her to Cas.

“She’s so beautiful.” Cas says as he holds the kitten.

“Yeah?” Dean asks.

“Yes,” Cas says in a soft voice. He looks the kitten in the eyes and says, “Hi there.”

“What do you want to call her?” Jack asks.

Cas looks at the wall thoughtfully and says, “Pumpkin.”

Dean grins. Cas was cute pre-cat. Now he’s just getting cuter. “Wow, I love you.” Dean says to himself.

Cas looks over and grins at Dean. He carefully puts Pumpkin back in her carrier and grabs Dean by two fistfuls of his jacket and says, “I love you too, Dean.” Cas kisses Dean.

Dean kisses Cas. Dean’s hands drift up to Cas’s face and then his hair.

Pumpkin meows.

They pull away from each other, giggling like kids.

“Got it.” Jack says.

Dean leans against Cas laughing.

…

_Castiel_

It is 11:40pm on December 24, 2020. They spent the whole day playing with Pumpkin and watching Christmas movies. Dean and Jack made cookies for Santa. When Jack went to bed, everyone put everyone’s gifts under the tree, including one for Jack that said it was for Santa. Now, Castiel is lying in bed beside Dean. Pumpkin is lying on Castiel’s chest, purring as Dean scratches behind her ear.

“Did I thank you yet?” Castiel asks. “For Pumpkin?”

“Yeah,” Dean says. “But you can always thank me again if you want.”

“You’re such a shit, Dean.” Cas laughs.

Dean laughs.

Pumpkin doesn’t like that Castiel is moving so much, so she hops onto the stairs Dean installed on the bed today and lies down on the bed Dean bought for her.

“Aww, look at her.” Dean says.

Castiel’s heart warms with Dean’s words. Castiel looks from Pumpkin to Dean. Dean’s watching Pumpkin with a tender expression.

“Aww, Cas, she’s yawning.” Dean says. “I bet she’s sleepy.”

Castiel smiles at Dean. Dean’s so cute. His face is so open with wonder. Castiel often forgets that Dean likes babies. He never thought it would translate to baby animals. Castiel cannot believe it had never occurred to him before.

Castiel cannot help but chuckle when he realizes that Dean is going to enjoy having a cat just as much as Castiel is.

“What?” Dean asks with a small smile on his face.

“Be honest, Dean. Did you get the kitten for me or you?” Castiel jokes.

Dean looks affronted and says, “You. Obviously. You’re the one who likes cats. You wanted to get a cat a few years ago. Remember?”

“I do remember. But I think you like cats too.”

“How _dare_ you?” Dean laughs and pulls Castiel into his arms.

“Oh, I dare.” Castiel boops Dean’s nose.

“Yeah?” Dean kisses Castiel.

“Yeah,” Castiel says before kissing Dean back.

It’s nice to just lie here wrapped up each other like this.

Then Castiel remembers. “I forgot to give you your gift for today.” He whispers.

“That’s okay. We can do it tomorrow.” Dean says.

“No. I need to go get it.” Castiel jumps out of the bed and runs to his room. He grabs the wallet card and runs back to Dean. “It’s not much. Not nearly as good as Pumpkin, but I thought it was a nice idea.” He hands Dean the wallet card.

“Thanks Cas. This is nice. I love this picture of us.” Dean smiles.

Castiel loves this picture of them too. It’s from the day after Jack rescued Castiel from The Empty and everyone stayed up all night watching the _Lord of the Rings_ trilogy. They drank coffee and hot chocolate the whole time. Dean didn’t leave Castiel’s side with the exception of bathroom breaks. Dean had never sat so close to Castiel for so long. They always had a funny relationship with personal space, but that night was…different. That night made Castiel wonder if Dean…perhaps…could possibly…could maybe love him too. And he was right.

“Turn it over.” Castiel says.

Dean turns it over and says, “Oh,” His voice breaks.

It says,  
“I may have been the one who gripped you tight and saved you from perdition,  
but you are the one who saved me in a million different ways every day after that.  
You are my best friend, my heart, and my home, Dean. And I love you.”

Dean pulls his wallet out of his jeans and puts the card in front of his credit cards. The picture is facing outwards which Castiel thinks is a good idea because it’s one of their best pictures.

“I love you too. And you’ve done so much for me over the years.” Dean pulls Castiel into a tight hug.

Castiel hugs Dean tightly.

They don’t move for a while. If they both cry a little, well, that’s their business.

When they pull away, Castiel looks at the clock and sees that it’s 12:01AM on Christmas Day.

“Hey Dean, it’s Christmas.” Castiel says.

“Well, look at that.” Dean grins. “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” Castiel kisses Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> One more chapter after this!!:)


	13. Christmas Day

**_Christmas Day_ **

**Dean**

Jack bursts into the room at 6AM on the dot. This time, Dean is already awake. He’s just too excited. He’s ready to spend Christmas together as a family. This Christmas season has already been the best, but he’s ready for today to make it officially the best Christmas ever.

Cas, however, was not awake, so when Jack bursts into the room yelling, “Santa has been here!” Cas jumps up and looks around frantically. He has an arm over Dean’s chest as if to put his body in front of Dean’s. Dean’s heart skips a beat. How did he miss the fact that Cas has loved him all these years? How could he miss something so obvious? Maybe Dean was too afraid to know it because he didn’t believe he deserved it. Dean still doesn’t believe he deserves to be loved by Cas, but Cas says that Dean deserves it and if there’s one thing Dean knows about Cas, it’s that Cas does whatever the hell he wants and nobody can stop him. Dean might as well enjoy the fact that he chooses to love him. Especially since Dean loves him too.

“Jack?” Cas asks.

“Hiya, Cas.” Jack grins.

Cas looks at Dean and then at Jack again before laughing. “Merry Christmas.”

“Merry Christmas Castiel!” Jack replies. “I’m gonna go wake everyone else up!”

Dean chuckles, “You do that Jack. Wait for us before you open anything up.”

“Okay!” Jack exits the room.

Dean looks at Cas and says, “Merry Christmas, Cas.”

“Merry Christmas, Dean.” Cas says.

Dean kisses Cas. Cas kisses him back.

Today’s already off to a great start.

…

**Dean**

Dean holds Cas’s hand as they walk into the living room. Sammy and Eileen are already in there. So is Jack who’s passing out presents wrapped in red wrapping paper with Santa Claus on it. Sammy looks at Cas and nods. Dean looks at Cas to see him smiling at Sam. Dean looks at Eileen who shrugs.

 _“Santa brought everyone a gift.”_ Jack signs. He grabs two gifts and hands one to Dean and one to Cas.

Everyone opens their gift. They all got matching pajamas. Dean laughs. _“Looks like Santa wants us all to wear these pj’s while we open up presents.”_

 _“Guess we better go change.”_ Eileen signs.

Dean and Cas walk into Dean’s room and change into the pj’s. The pj’s have a red, green, gold, and silver galaxy print with Santa Claus in his sleigh being pulled by his reindeer.

“Who picked these out?” Dean asks.

“Sam,” Cas replies. “But the matching pajamas was my idea. Jack likes to match. I thought it would make nice pictures.”

Dean chuckles. “The pictures will be great, Cas.”

“I thought so.” Cas holds out his phone and stands beside Dean. “Smile,”

Dean looks at the phone and smiles.

Cas takes a couple pictures of them smiling, then he kisses Dean.

Dean kisses him back. He can hear Cas taking more pictures. “You’re so cute; you know that?”

Cas’s cheeks turn red and he says, “If you say so, Dean.”

“I _do_ say so.” Dean grins.

…

_Castiel_

Dean insists that they put on a movie called, _A Christmas Story._ Dean says it’s a Christmas classic that plays all day every Christmas every year. Castiel thinks that is the perfect background movie to have on while they exchange gifts. Pumpkin paces around the room and paws some of the presents.

Castiel picks Pumpkin up. “Leave it, little one.” He whispers to his kitten.

A lot of the presents are just for fun. Eileen got Jack a few of the _Archie_ comics since Jack likes the show _Riverdale_. Sam got Jack a _Riverdale_ sweater. Castiel got Jack an adult coloring book and a pen-set with two hundred colors. Dean got Jack a box with thirteen drawers. Inside each drawer is a series of boxes.

 _“This is a sock calendar. There are thirteen drawers because you get a month-full of socks for this December, but there are also twelve more months-worth of socks. You can open them all up now or you can save them to open one up every day and get a new pair of socks every day.”_ Dean signs.

Jack hugs Dean. Then Jack pulls away and looks at the box. _“I think I’ll open up this month’s up until tomorrow so I can get a surprise pair of socks a day. That’ll be fun. Thank you so much!”_ Jack signs.

 _“You’re welcome.”_ Dean grins.

 _“Okay,”_ Sam looks nervous and signs, “ _I have something important to say.”_ He looks at Eileen. _“Eileen, you are the love of my life. I love laughing with you. You’re a fierce hunter, you’re the person with whom I prefer to spend time with, and I’m so lucky to have met you. You’ve been a part of this family for a while now, but I was wondering if you would be willing to marry me?”_ Sam pulls a box out of his pocket and opens it up to reveal a ring.

Eileen puts her hands over her face and then she signs, _“All I got you was a Game of Thrones sweater!”_

Sam laughs and signs, _“I got you a sweater too, actually.”_

Eileen laughs.

 _“So, is that a no or…or maybe a yes_?” Sam asks.

 _“A yes,”_ Eileen signs and then she grabs Sam’s face and kisses him.

Castiel smiles. He looks over at Dean who’s watching the seen with tears in his eyes. He’s smiling and he looks proud of Sam and Eileen.

Castiel doesn’t think the rest of the gifts are comparable to Sam and Eileen’s engagement. Dean gives Castiel a bee sweater and a cat mug. Dean gives Pumpkin a basket full of cat things: toys, a collar with cartoon bees on it, a bee sweater that matches Castiel’s, a scratch-post thing, and some treats. Castiel gives Dean a model of Baby.

After presents, everyone pitches in to make breakfast. Castiel feeds Pumpkin in her new bowl with the cartoon bees that Dean bought her. Sam makes hot chocolate and coffee. Castiel and Jack make peppermint pancakes. Dean and Eileen make eggs and bacon and French toast.

Everyone ends up taking naps after they eat. Jack falls asleep on the couch. Sam and Eileen go to their room. Castiel and Dean go to Dean’s room.

“Did you like your Christmas presents?” Dean asks as they lie together.

“Yeah; did you?” Castiel asks.

“Yeah,” Dean smiles. He boops Castiel’s nose.

Castiel chuckles and boops Dean’s nose.

Dean laughs and kisses Castiel on the lips.

**…**

**Dean**

Dean wakes up next to Cas. He watches his angel sleep. Dean was right. This really is the best Christmas ever. He’s got everything he has ever wanted: Sam’s happy, Dean’s in love, and Dean has a kid. And soon, Dean and Cas will start a new…Dean feels cheesy calling it an adventure, but that’s the best word for it because trying to be normal is a perilous ordeal.

Cas’s eyes open and Dean is greeted by a bright blue that nearly takes his breath away.

“You’re so beautiful,” Dean whispers.

“I could say the same to you,” Cas boops Dean’s nose.

Dean smiles. He has created a booping monster. It’s cute though.

Dean boops Cas’s nose back.

Cas smiles.

“I can’t wait to go off together.” Dean says. “Not too far from Sammy, but a little wiggle room…just for us.”

“That’ll be nice.” Cas says.

…

**Dean**

Everyone meets up again at noon. They take turns baking fudge and cookies and pie, and making dinner and playing video games. (Mostly Mario Kart). Jack kicks everyone’s asses as Yoshi. Eileen’s the only one who can actually beat Jack. She usually plays as King Boo. Sam is terrible, but he likes to be Bowser. Cas chooses a character at random every time. Dean likes Toad.

Dean catches Sammy by himself in the kitchen and says, “I’m so proud of you two.”

Sam smiles. “Thanks,”

“Have you talked about when you’re getting married?”

“Not yet. We’re just excited about being engaged.”

Dean nods. “That’s fair. Take your time.”

“Are you and Cas thinking about getting married any time soon?”

Ummm…

Dean laughs it off. “We haven’t talked about it. I mean, we just started dating. It’s a little soon.”

“You two have been in love with each other for years though.”

“Yeah, but relationships aren’t just about getting married. They’re about…they’re about committing to each other in different ways. Cas and I need to get used to being a couple before we think about getting married.”

“So, you’re not gonna do it?”

“It’s not that I don’t want to ever marry him. I just don’t think now is the time.”

Sam nods. “Fair.”

“I might be retiring though…maybe become the next Ellen. You know, run a café or a restaurant or something with Cas. Help out hunters when needed but not seek out hunts. We wouldn’t go too far from here though.”

“I’m so proud of you, Dean.” Sam hugs Dean tightly.

“Thanks Sammy.” Dean hugs Sam back.

“You two are going to be great.”

“I’m excited to see you and Eileen get married too.” Dean grins. “You two deserve it.”

“Thanks, Dean.” Sam smiles. “You deserve some rest. I’m excited for you too.”

“Thanks,” Dean says.

In the middle of all that cooking and playing, Cas convinces everyone to change into the Christmas sweaters he bought them. They match. They’re red and green and gold and have a pattern of candy canes on them. A lot of pictures are taken. It’s cheesy, but Dean thinks they all deserve a day of cheesiness after everything they’ve been through.

They take _so many_ pictures though. The Christmas sweater pictures. Sam-Eileen engagement pictures. Sam-Eileen mistletoe pictures. Cas-Dean mistletoe pictures. Cas and Pumpkin pictures where Cas is wearing the cat pj’s. Cas and Pumpkin pictures where Cas and Pumpkin are wearing the bee sweaters. Jack gets several pictures by himself with his presents, in front of the tree, and other places around the bunker. There are pictures of Jack and Cas, Dean and Jack, Jack, Dean, and Cas, Jack and Sam, Jack and Eileen, Jack, Eileen, and Sam. There are a lot of pictures. A shit-ton is probably a better phrase for how many pictures get taken.

“I have so many new pictures for my photo-album.” Cas smiles as he looks through his phone.

Dean takes a picture of Cas. Dean loves that little smile on Cas’s face. It’s not a showy smile. Cas just looks happy and content. Dean loves that for him.

Dean ends up alone in the kitchen with Eileen and signs, _“Like Sammy said, you’ve been part of the family for a while now, but I’m really excited to have you as a sister-in-law.”_

Eileen smiles, _“Thanks Dean.”_

Dean hugs Eileen and she hugs him back.

Then the oven goes off and Dean lets go. They get back to work.

_Castiel_

Everyone sits down to eat dinner and Castiel smiles at his family. Dean and Sam are competing to see who can stick the most deviled eggs in their mouths. Sam nearly chokes. Castiel and Eileen exchange eye-rolls. Jack of course looks delighted.

Castiel has never been happier. He can’t remember the last time he saw Dean this happy either. Soon, they will be off to find a new line of business. Not right this second of course. Today is Christmas and they’re going to spend Christmas with the people they cherish. This is what Christmas is supposed to be: a time to spend with the people you love, giving them gifts, and making them laugh…which is a gift in itself really.

Then Pumpkin jumps onto the table and food flies everywhere.

Castiel looks at Dean who laughs. So does Jack and Eileen and Sam. Castiel laughs too. Castiel runs after Pumpkin and so does Dean. When Castiel finally catches Pumpkin, Dean takes a picture with his phone.

“Hey Cas,” Dean grins and points up. “Mistletoe.”

Castiel smiles as Dean gently grabs his face and kisses him.

Pumpkin meows and they pull away, laughing.

“Best Christmas ever, Cas.” Dean says.

Castiel agrees.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> That's it for this story!:)
> 
> Thank you everyone for reading!!:)
> 
> This has been fun!!:)

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you for reading!
> 
> I'm @lotsofquestionslimitedanswers on tumblr.
> 
> Please let me know what you think!:)


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